Monthly Archives: October 2012

Your entitled to you’re own opinion… So why aren’t I?

Today I witnessed yet another facebook incident. This time about the big ole favorite ‘same sex marriage and parenting issue’ Of course this is an extremely controversial issue, and there will always be people that agree and disagree but few that agree to disagree…

Why is this?

Because most people are quick to voice their opinions hoping to be herd and even quicker to shut others down if they do not agree. So I understand this has become the ‘norm’ for everyone, I mean we are all sucked in to the media, social networking, and the idea of becoming a ‘freedom of speech’ nation but is that really what this is about? We are all under the impression that our tiny little opinion will change the whole entire world just because we are a person and everyone is ‘for the people’ and ‘for equal rights’ but in reality no matter what opinions we have there will always be someone on the edge or their seat just waiting to object.

Of course when I came across this particular comment board on facebook, I, like most people had to join in on the action, and voice my tiny little opinion – in hope that I get herd and maybe it would sway others opinions… So I wrote my nifty long comment up and decided to press send.

This is what I wrote – spelling/grammatical errors and all.

“It’s easy to just point the blame at homophobia when it comes to disagreeing with same sex couples, marriage and parenting… But is it honestly homophobia that is causing people dislike this particular subject? I don’t think so – why don’t I think that? Because not you nor I actually know what these apparant ‘homophobic’ people are actually thinking and why. It is also just as bad for attacking them back for not agreeing with your views.

For example: Sandy is a lesbian, Sandy and her girlfriend want to get married but the law says no. Sandys friend Tom says “Hey Sandy, I accept that you are a lesbian, but well the law says you can’t get married, I agree with that law” Sandy responds with “That is fair enough Tom, thank you for your honesty, I value your opinion” but Sandys girlfriend disagrees and thinks Tom is homophobic anyway because he doesn’t share the same views or opinions as her.

Do you see where I am comming from? It’s is not homophobic to not agree with same sex anything, it is merely freedom of speech, choice and maintaining the ability to think and feel as an individual and not as a sheep in a herd of cattle. To attack someone and call them homophobic for not agreeing with same sex anything is the exact same as attacking someone for wanting same sex to be equal and you are just as bad…

Wake up to the world and realize that everyone in entitled to their own opinion, their own view on life, their own sexual prefrence and so on. No one should ne attacked for not following the system and no one should be attacked for following the system.”

Now of course I value my opinion, I feel its pretty valid. Just like everyone else who has commented on there. Including all the people that think same sex parenting is ok and people who think its wrong. But what I am wondering is if I can recognize that people entitled to their own opinions, then why can’t others? Why are there many people who can’t sit there and be like tom and sandy? Just plain accepting? Further more it is also a very confusing subject.

If I am writing this post, about not understanding why a lot of people aren’t accepting of others opinions and life style am I then just as bad for questioning it? Am I then just as bad for not understanding why? Because by not understanding and by questioning why they don’t just accept others opinions, is that, in its self, just me not accepting that people can’t accept something?

Lupe Fiasco – Words I never said

This particular song, I love because it speaks such truth. So I thought I would share the lyrics today. Because I feel that even if you dont listen to the song, it has that much meaning behind it that the lyrics are just worth reading.
I really think the war on terror is a bunch of bullshit
Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullets
How much money does it take to really make a full clip
9/11 building 7 did they really pull it
Uhh, And a bunch of other cover ups
Your childs future was the first to go with budget cuts
If you think that hurts then, wait here comes the uppercut
The school was garbage in the first place, that’s on the up and up
Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the uppercrust
You get it then they move it so you never keeping up enough
If you turn on TV all you see’s a bunch of “what the fucks”
Dude is dating so and so blabbering bout such and such
And that ain’t Jersey Shore, homie that’s the news
And these the same people that supposed to be telling us the truth
Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist
Gaza strip was getting bombed, Obama didn’t say shit
That’s why I ain’t vote for him, next one either
I’ma part of the problem, my problem is I’m peaceful
And I believe in the people.

Now you can say it ain’t our fault if we never heard it
But if we know better than we probably deserve it
Jihad is not a holy war, wheres that in the worship?
Murdering is not Islam!
And you are not observant
And you are not a muslim
Israel don’t take my side cause look how far you’ve pushed them
Walk with me into the ghetto, this where all the Kush went
Complain about the liquor store but what you drinking liquor for?
Complain about the gloom but when’d you pick a broom up?
Just listening to Pac ain’t gone make it stop
A rebel in your thoughts, ain’t gon make it halt
If you don’t become an actor you’ll never be a factor
Pills with million side effects
Take em when the pains felt
Wash them down with Diet soda!
Killin off your brain cells
Crooked banks around the World
Would gladly give a loan today
So if you ever miss a payment
They can take your home away!

I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence
Fear is such a weak emotion that’s why I despise it
We scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth
So scared of what you think of me, I’m scared of even telling you
Sometimes I’m like the only person I feel safe to tell it to
I’m locked inside a cell in me, I know that there’s a jail in you
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through

Baby brain


Ahh, you find yourself pregnant with your first child, you think ‘this is going to be great’ and can’t wait to meet your little one. As you go through your pregnancy you slowly but surely start to forget such simple things, like the washing or where you have placed your keys. By the 6th month you would be starting to wonder what’s up with you, or maybe you have forgotten to do that too. You have your precious baby, and you forget pretty much everything that had just happened because you are too preoccupied with your new baby. Then you fall pregnant again – yep guess you forgot unprotected sex can and most of the time will end up in pregnancy. You still haven’t recovered from your first… Not your body, your brain. You feel as if you are the baby sometimes, while your child gets smarter, you feel like you are heading in the opposite direction…

Baby brain! Yep it exists and sadly it effects most of us mothers. It’s one of the main reasons my posts are slowly declining. Between looking after my son, growing a new baby, getting ready for my c-section in 12 days and sleeping there is… Well see I forget, so its the part of my day where I could literally stick a note to my head that reads “Sorry, Britnys brain is currently on break, please come back later.”

Sad isn’t it?
Having babies in my opinion is hard work, sure it may look easy to those who have not carried a child for sometimes over 10 months a time, but let me assure you… It ain’t no piece of cake buddy, mmm cake would be nice right now – hahaha

But no seriously if you have seen ‘what to expect when your expecting’ and recall the scene at the expo where the pregnant lady breaks down on stage and rants about how shit it is being pregnant, then you should take that as a general guide to how most of us baby makers feel.

I have 12 days to go, I go to the toilet ever couple hours (which I must admit is a lot better than the mummas that need to go every half an hour) I could sleep all night and day and still have no energy to get off the couch to actually go to the toilet… And just to clear some misconceptions up – not every pregnant woman sits on their arse and eats all day, some do, but really you don’t need to eat anymore than maybe 400 extra calories a day in the last trimester… This is something that bugs me a lot of tv aswell, they stereotypical pregnant woman who wants all the pastries and then some. Sorry to the woman that are like this when they are pregnant and sadly I have not experienced this joyful spout of cravings.

I am huge and heavy and completely over it. So I hope the next 12 days will go fast.


Hey mum, I think you ate too much cake bahahaha


Hazelnut lates and baby chinos

One thing I have noticed about being a writer is the amount of time I have spent writing something, only for it to have to walk its way to the bin, much like in monopoly ‘Go to jail, do not pass go and don’t even attempt to collect that mouthwatering $200 on the way’ never to see the light of day again.

It happens a lot with us writers, whether we are typeing in word or writing on paper, we can spend hours upon hours and drink caffeinated drink after caffeinated drink, only to find ourselves throwing out or deleting what we have just written.

I have written so many things over the past few weeks and I have just thrown them out or deleted them, mainly because the things I have written are just emotionally fueled hate speech’s against some people in my life, which I don’t actually mean – in that case thank god for the delete button.

This post was inspired by where as you can see in the photo there is a sign that says “I’ve spent most of my life drinking coffee, the rest I’ve just wasted”

I feel this applys to how I am feeling right now. Upon catching up with a friend I had not seen in about 5 years, I realized, much like most of my writings, my life too seems to be going to waste – take away the whole having a son and being pregnant thing, I’m not talking about that.
It just made me realize I really hadn’t done much in the past 5 years apart from
-get drunk
-experiment with drugs
-gotten into a lot of pointless relationships (excluding most recent)
-get into trouble
-get pregnant
-have baby
-move state
-get pregnant again
-move state again
-write again
-be pregnant
-wait for c-section date
-and look after my son

It’s funny because my mum just said “I don’t know how anyone can complain about having nothing to do, I always have something to do but never have enough time” – my mum is someone that can always find something to do.

I need to find more to do. And I need to stop wasting my writings. From now on I won’t be throwing away what I have written or deleting it. :) because you never know when it might come in handy.

Back to my friend. We caught up for coffee after so many years of not seeing each other. The last time I saw him I was pretty much doing my walk of shame home from a night of under aged drinking, he had broken down on the side of the road and we chatted briefly then I continued my adventure home.

Sipping at my hazel nut late while my son was covering himself in baby chino, I listened to my friend tell me about everything that had happened since I had last seen me. Basically, he has a daughter is a baker and is saving up for a house.

We took my son to go see a petting zoo aswell, then I went home.


when one door closes, another door opens – but if you don’t don’t close that door behind you, the past will forever be by your side.

I need to get out more – take my son places more like petting zoos and cafes for baby chinos with mum.

I might feel like I’ve wasted the past 5 years of my life just because my friend has ideally done more than me, but I have just gone down a different path. Much like with throwing away the piece of writing you spent hours on – its not that its shit and you wasted your time on it, its just that at the time maybe its best that it doesn’t get seen by anyone and you re-visit it later.

Blame it on the Alcohol

Upon login onto Facebook this morning, I scrolled through the usual status’ or some of my friends on there and then I go straight to the Sunrise Facebook page. As I watch this show pretty much religiously, on days that I don’t find myself in front of the TV I find myself on here. I am also able to give my opinion on their topics. Although my opinions will probably not be read, I still give them.

This morning I saw the topics of the day… and of course I had to say SOMETHING about the last one in particular.

Since I clearly understand that not everyone agrees with sorting out their own problems – it is no wonder people are trying to push for the ability to Sue companies that make alcohol and tobacco… I must also point out my complete lack of appreciation for such things.

I used to be a smoker… But that does not mean I should have the right to sue my regular tobacco brand for damages, or new lungs if I happen to get lung cancer in the future, So why is that even considered? Why is it even considered that we sure alcohol companies for getting us drunk. As you can see most of this post is pretty self explanatory just from the picture alone. What are your thoughts… Are they really just creating ways for people to blame someone else? Should we instead just but out of peoples affairs and let them kill themselves with cigarettes and alcohol… What is the right thing to do here? We cannot ban these because they get distributed on the black market anyway, or grown and made in the backyards of many people. Are we becoming our own worst enimies or are we already there?

In a far away land, there was a lonely woman who couldn’t catch a break…

Something I have always had trouble with is expressing how I feel, I get paranoid and anxious and try to cover up my feelings in bazaar ways. Which I guess that would be my downfall, I can’t just be honest about my feelings… I have to beat around the bushes, hoping I don’t have to deal with them, and that maybe they will just go away in order for others to have an easier life.

Upon starting this blog I was hoping that it would make things easier for me when it came to expressing my feelings, but no, because still I feel I can’t because of a few people that may happen to read a particular post, then msg me and have a go at me.

Why am I so scared? Honestly what do I have to lose if I tell that person I like them or I tell that person I think they need to grow up etc etc… Sometimes I think I hold back purely because of fear. Fear of complete rejection or fear of being insulted, but unless what I want to say is in an acceptable form where the person can actually feel the meaning behind it and feel the emotions whether I be sad, angry, happy or in awe, then I feel maybe it is pointless even bothering.

Today I think back to something I wrote a couple days ago… A silly little letter filled with emotion ment for someone, but addressed to someone else… Not ment for anyone to read until I felt ready to display… Not ment for the person written on the letter…

‘well why did you do that’ you may be thinking, well… To be honest the thought of addressing certain feelings with someone scares me… And I don’t particularly want to address them at all at this point in time. So trying to cover up it is my next best option, then delete… But unfortunately I can’t just delete my feelings and rename who there ment for.

Aren’t I just ment to try and be happy? Then why am I always so sad?

Originally posted on marbox:

Ten things to say to yourself everyday:

1. Do not lose sight of what truly matters.
2. It is okay to be alone and take time out from the world.
3. You are not always in control.
4. What other people think is irrelevant.
5. Don’t give up.
6. You don’t have to know all the answers.
7. You are good enough.
8. Forget the past, don’t worry about the future – the present is where you need to be.
9. Your feelings will not kill you.
10. You are only human.

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3D Ultrasound, Award post and so and so with a bit of such and such

Last night I logged on to find that I had been nominated for of the same awards. So I would just like to take some time to thank these people before I continue.

Firstly for their blog Seasons Of Insanity

You always have the most interesting posts to read and I never get bored when I read them. Although I must say I am sorry for never showing you that I have read them. Much like my presence in real life at the moment, the appreciation I should show for my friends gets left in bed when I wake up because my mind gets clouded with lots of other thoughts. My favourite post you have written recently is this one

It’s just a tad naughty ;) and I must admit I like the naughty posts (giggle)

Secondly For their blog Mittens Blog Stop

Every time I visit your blog to see something new, I see something extravagant and well written, exciting and enjoyable to read. I am always waiting to see the next post to come up. My favourite post you have written recently is not only because it is well written, but because it is written in a sense that it can relate to almost everyone using wordpress. I think that is a wonderful thing being able to relate to your readers.

“When someone likes 8 of your posts in 20 seconds, are they the fastest readers in the world, or did they line up all the posts in individual tabs, read them all, then go back and click like like like? …Or are they just faking it in the hopes you’ll come check their blog out? Hmm. This happened to me once. Yeah man, I knew what you were up to! I win! The prize is the honour of being neurotic.”

This bit is my favourite because it happens so often. I think it might be because they read it in individual tabs and I just hope it isn’t because they would like to get noticed by spamming our inboxes with many ‘likes.’

So with that I must move on to all the different questions I should answer.

Mittens has asked me these questions

  1. Does Spongebob Square pants creep you out a little bit now you’re older?

2. What is your favourite kind of big cat?

Snow Leopard
3. What’s your personal favourite post on your blog?

Oh well that would easily be
4. Who do you wish would make a wordpress account and follow you?

Katy Perry, because I think she would have some pretty unique things to write about.
5. What’s your dream job and nightmare job?

My dream job was being a mother (which I have now) and my nightmare job is working as a poop cleaner
6. What is your favourite kind of tea?

Twinning’s Lemon scented Black Tea
7. What is your biggest achievement (in your eyes)?

Writing the first couple of chapters of my novel
8. How many blogs do you run? Or just one?

Just 1
9. Favourite band or singer or song?

That’s a hard one ill skip this one
10. Would you rather be a part of the Brady Bunch or the Addams Family?

Addams Family

Now time for Seasons questions

1. Your favourite colour – Blue

2. Your favourite animal – Tiger

3. Your favourite non-alcoholic drink – Coffee

4. Facebook or Twitter – Facebook :/ Unfortunately

5. Your favourite pattern – I agree with Seasons here, the pattern 8 J

6. Do you prefer getting or giving presents? – Giving, always

7. Your favourite number? – Agreed 69 ;P

8. Your favourite day of the week? – I don’t have a favourite

9. Your favourite flower? – Lotus

10. What is your passion? – Writing, music, art and being a mum


Now that I have answered all those questions and you know a little more about me time for my nominees

So far

I can’t think of my own questions, so feel free to answer any of the ones I answered.



Now time for my Normal post –

This week has been hectic, I have realized a lot in this week about the way I react to a particular person and things this person has said. I still think about how manipulated I was for ages, sometimes I think that maybe I deserved it, but then I remember I am only human and the other person is only human too… so who can blame them for wanting things to go their way all the time and stopping at nothing to get it… all I can say now is sorry mate but you lucked out this time, but good luck next time right?


I recently took my son to the swimming centre, it took a little bit of time to get him used to the water again – as he hadn’t been in the water in so long – But I will just have to take him more often now to get him excited about swimming.

I also haven’t written about my 3D ultrasound yet, I was going to write about it, but the father forgot that I was even having the ultrasound done that day, so I got angry and refused to post the pictures and write a post until he remembered, and just as I suspected I had to mention it while I was angry to get him to remember… but at the time it was the perfect conversation changer. Sometimes I don’t understand how someone can forget something so important.

So here are some pictures


I have also been spending a lot of time with a really good friend lately, and we have been boarder line obsessing over our star signs and reading them every day then discussing some different interpretations of that particular text. I would like to share my Aires one today

“Life gets intense today. Your passionate nature is right at the surface of your consciousness. You’re attracted to potent people and deeply intimate encounters. You’re like a child playing with matches — drawn to the flame, though you’ve been warned about what will happen if you get too close! It’s good to delve into your own inner power, but try not to create dramatic situations purely for their own sake.”

Also check out my mums blog Marbox – Healthy, Wealthy and Wise



My big adventure day 6: thank god for friends

I usually always find the answers I’m looking for in music, but today nothing…

I wish I could just stop time for just a few minutes, just to have some time to myself to think, to be able to clear up all my thoughts and sort out all my feelings. But no matter how hard I wish, that is one thing that is impossible and maybe I should just wait until my son goes to bed tonight to revisit the situation with my brain. But I can’t do that because miss brain is an impatient chatter box and wants to talk about it right now, and all the time…

Over the past week I have been speaking to a good friend about my problems, and although I am boring him by going over the same things over and over again, he’s given me a lot of good advice that never falls far from the tree of my feelings… But still I lack the confidence to reach for those stray apples of advice, pick them up and bite into them like eve and the forbidden fruit. Thirsty for knowledge, and all the answers, I am scared of the answers and the solutions, I have herd them over and over again, yet I am still very reluctant to face those fears.

Maybe a pros and cons list would help?
All I can say right now is thank god for friends