Posts Tagged ‘children’
“Ha” they said.
“You can never achieve that” they say.
I think back to school, all the bullying and all the times I was kicked out of class (for reacting to the bullies) and all the “you will nevers”
From what I believed, by year nine (13-14 years old) I would never ammount to anything. In my fellow classmates eyes I was just a ‘slut’ who just happen to still be a virgin. I have lost count of the amount of times I have been told I was stupid, dumb, useless or I wouldn’t achieve anything, and I began to believe them and eventually gave up.
I gave up on my art, singing (not cooking otherwise we wouldn’t eat) I just basically said ‘f@#k it’ and let the bullies win.
I recently watched a TED talks episode “Adora Svitak: what adults can learn from children.” I was blown away. Not only was she up on stage speaking in front of millions, she had a sense of humor like an ‘adult.’
Adora starts off by talking about being called ‘childish’ and points out how adults can be childish too (eg: war, slavery) ill add to this with calling your child names, saying its their fault, saying they will never ammount to anything and not encouraging them.
Adoras parents bought her, her very own laptop, which she wrote 300 short stories on that laptop by the age of 6. Adora wanted to get published, so instead of telling her to wait until she was older or telling her it was stupid, her parents supported her until they found a publishing company that would take her on and trust her.
Why? Because her parents invested what most adults see as their ‘precious and valuable me time’ into their precious, valuable and creative daughter. Yep its hard to believe there ARE still some selfless adults out there.
I was in the supermarket the other day with Jordan and our 2 little boys Setesh (19 months old) and Atlas (2 months.)
We were minding our own business, doing our grocery shopping when this woman tried to start a fight with us, we just ignored her, later on in the shopping trip she tried again. Calling us losers for being parents of two children. Now its morally wrong to judge other (even though we all do it) but by the looks of things, this woman might have been jealous of us. We didn’t know her, we didn’t speak to her, we hadn’t even looked at her and she was with her pre-pubescent boy. They were both wearing clothes that looked like they had come from a second hand store or off the side of the road, but what she also didn’t realise is that I am on welfare too and its the same ammount as her if not less – so we were both ‘losers’ in the eye of the public.
Its this type of bullying and behavior that keeps a lot of people from achieving their goals. Because of this event we left the supermarket having done only half of our shopping – in fear or further abuse and avoidance of the situation.
How could some stranger treat us like that? Something must have intimidated her – the thought of someone possibly being better than her. This is where most parents go wrong with their children. The fear of their own offspring surpassing their intellectual status and becoming more successful or in general ‘better than they were.’
Failing to see that is the point.
Its to teach your offspring so they can be better, not the same and not less but better.
I’ve written about my son Setesh before, now I am surtain he can become something amazing.
Setesh is 1, he will be 2 this year. He can count to 10 and read (yes read) and recognize numbers from 1 to 6, he can solve simple puzzles (eg:- red red, blue blue, red red what comes next, answer being blue blue) he can collect items all of the same colour and tell you what colour they are, he can ask you questions and he can trick you. He will figure out how something works almost instantly ( you might as well give your new smart phone to him so he can show you how to use it.)
Of course that will spark some jealousy within other mums with children Setesh’s age, but why Setesh is they way he is, is because he has a group of people around him all day, everyday investing their precious spare time teaching him, talking to him, playing with him and no body talks to him like a baby.
Old saying – it takes a village to raise a child.
I’m not saying do as I do, I am simply pointing out how simple encouragment can go along way – we play flash cards with Setesh now.
I wish when I was in school I was continually encouraged, like Adora and Setesh. But my childhood is in the past now.
This year I started studying to become a ‘Neuroscientist’ and I realised there is no reason why I can’t teach Setesh this stuff too. Like Adora suggests – adults need to start trusting kids more. So I can trust that Setesh will turn out fine if I teach him what I am learning, I think it will be good for him. And yes he will still be my little baby but I want him to be better than I was when he is my age.
I was both my boys to surpass me physically and intellectually.
Because they are the leaders of tomorrow.
Yes, I am a ‘teen mum.
‘But not like those teen mums you see glorified on tv for their immature, disrespectful, outrageous and downright stupid behaviour. I personally do not like the ‘reality tv’ shows ‘teen mom’ and ‘teen mom 2.’
If you have seen these ‘reality tv’ shows then you will know what I mean – unless you like or support this kind of ‘reality tv’ show, then fair enough – please don’t be offended because I do not agree with this behaviour being showcased as typical ‘teenage mother’ behaviour.
I know exactly what it is like to be looked down upon for being a teen mother, and tv shows like these do not help with that. I do however come from a place where being eighteen and having a child is completely acceptable, as eighteen is when you are considered an ‘adult’ in the eyes of the law and most people outside of the law.
The big one-eight, your ultimate ticket to ‘adulthood’ is sitting in your purse and has been for 2 years (if you obtained your learners permit or p plates when you were 16) for you to call upon it in times of need – when being asked the question
“Can I see your ID please?”
A question that is not only daunting but most exciting for those underaged and newly deemed ‘adult.’
I am reflecting upon this because this year I will be turning twenty. You would think I would be less excited than what I am, considering I am getting older, but I am really excited – why? Well for two reasons actually; a trip to Thailand and to finally be rid of the title ‘teen mum.’
Now don’t get me wrong (just throwing it our there that ‘don’t get me wrong’ is an interesting way of saying ‘don’t get the wrong Idea’ or ‘please don’t jump to conclusions’) I love my children to bits, and to put it across honestly – falling pregnant at 17 ideally saved my life from what could have been a dangerous path to further drug abuse and a potential premature death.
A lot of people say “things happen for a reason” but they don’t really. I used to catch myself saying this as a way to justify everything; break ups, bad decisions I had made, things going missing ect. But really, I didn’t fall pregnant because it was ‘meant to happen’ at a socially unacceptable age – I fell pregnant because I did the normal healthy thing – have sex, only I didn’t use protection… Again.
That doesn’t mean I would change my decision, it only means I have recognised something that not many people my age recognise. The decisions you make are that of your own carelessness aren’t ‘meant to be’ or ‘fate’ they are just because you made it that way, just because you chose to do it regardless of the consequences… Just because.
Isn’t that what life is about, just because? Maybe learning to accept ‘what is’ can be one of the meanings.
Nobody knows the meaning of life, we go through so much in our time on the forever changing earth, but do we really stop and wonder these things? Maybe the meaning of life is just that… Not to wonder, not to care, and just live and turn a blind eye most and call it ‘fate.’
I don’t think so – but it’s what most of us do.
In every culture you will find stories -of gods- of sky beings- of he who came from the sky/heavens-gods on flying carpets- on ‘vestmas’- in space ships- on rockets- on planes- on dragons- on horsesThey have:- animal heads- animal bodies- human heads- oversized ‘alien like’ heads-similar storiesBut one thing in common
- the promise of death and judgment
“Follow my rules, do my bidding and reap the rewards after you pass from this life.”Is that the meaning of life? To follow a book, to have faith in our cultures god, to follow the rules – that of which god created and that of which man came along, took some out and put more in?
Take infidelity for example, punishable by god – acceptable by humans… How does that make sense at all?But drugs on the other hand, are so bad and horrible that we must lock people away, for using and supplying, for life and throw away the key…Or an even better example, Americans constitutional right to own a gun, because if someone is trying to hurt you, you have the right to hurt them worse, even kill them?And what about war?”We’re fighting for world peace” they say – well no, your just fighting because it makes money and is thrilling, how many wars have happened since man walked the earth? Yeah exactly.Have we achieved world peace yet?Have we all accepted that maybe there might be more than one god or maybe no god?Have we taken into account all the different story’s?Are we all really “for the people” or just for ourselves?
‘Fighting for world peace’ is stupid because fighting does not result in peace at all, it results in billions of lost lives just so the greedy can prosper. War is created for money, fuelled by money – ultimate goal? Well that’s to have more money of course. Excuses for wars? Religion, world peace, “that country is a threat to our country” – so that’s fear. Just because one small group of people want to kill a few of us… So what do we do? Oh I know lets kill them all.
We will kill their mothers, we will kill their fathers, their children and their teachers, we will kill their friends and their pets, oh yes don’t forget their pets, we must not forget them. We will blow up their schools because modern education is evil and we will blow up their houses because they should live I’m the slums if they survive that is.Why?Well they apparently kills thousands of people in our country so it is perfectly ok for us to play god and take the guilty and innocent lives, place them in our line of fire and kill them all… Oh but they started it so its ok.
Billions of dollars will be spent to fuel this war guys, we don’t need more education so cut that, we need the money for military forces, health care funds? What we don’t need that, they will die sometime anyway, we need the money for new guns. The homeless? They’re just a burden, might as well send them front of the line, so our soldiers can be safe… Yes we may need more hospitals and doctors but we need the money to fuel this century’s war first… Then we will have world peace, these other things can wait.
Sorry to break it to you guys but the only way to achieve world peace is to get off your high horse and stop fighting.
Much like the decision to have a child young… You just have to suck all that pride back in, stop being selfish, accept it for what it is, spend less on nothing and more on something that you spent 9-10 months growing inside you and become at peace with the world you live in.
War may continue, the wicked will continue to prosper, the poor will continue to be seen as a burden on society, the homeless will still be seen as worthless scum and world peace is nothing but a dream.
But this year I will be twenty, I have two kids, I have no home I call ‘my own’ and hardly anything in the bank because of forever paying bills. One thing is surtain though – I am at peace with the world and I accept it and everyone, exactly how it is…
Well just because.
“Inspired from the book ‘the thing you think you cannot do… thirty truths about fear and courage’ written by Gordon Livingston, M.D. Author of the international best seller ‘too soon old, too late smart’
For those of you who are wondering, I posted my first draft copy, of my first chapter, of my first novel and for the first time. That is a lot of firsts. http://allworldissues.com/2012/12/05/rubys-notes-chapter-1-draft-thoughts/
I asked people for constructive criticism (yes good and bad) one thing you need to realize if you want to publish your work – you need to seek the criticism, and face the music – otherwise how are you going to improve and make it better?
Last night I spent a bit of time editing it (old school paper and pen style)
here is some of the edited copy – And for those who are wondering ALL my work IS in fact Copyrighted. So don’t be thieving
Being a school teacher wasn’t all it had cracked up to be. Sure there were a few perks, seeing the smiles on those children’s faces every time I entered the room, just as easily they smiled when it was time to pack their bags and go home, teaching them all about how the world works… How much they actually listen to is a different story. My name is Ruby, Ruby Kensington but you can call me Miss K.
I’m not married, I don’t even have a boyfriend, I don’t have children of my own and I don’t have any friends. No I am not a weirdo or maybe I am. You can decide that for yourself. I’m going to tell you a story about how I ended up in the position I am in.
June 28th 8:40pm. 1993
It was the 90’s and I was fresh out of law school, already I had already received my first job offer. I was desperate, so I went for it not knowing quite what I was getting myself into. We had arranged to meet at 9am the next day to discuss what the job involves, the only problem was that I did not know who I was meeting or why. I had received the phone call out of the blue, and the person I had spoken to did not go into any detail about the job, they just gave me a time and the address of where I would be meeting my ‘potential employer.’ When you are a lawyer, you don’t think too much about those types of phone calls – although I would have preferred to pick the location myself.
That night I had a group date with my best friends Chloe and Sandra.
They had been my friends since we were in law school. Chloe had long blond hair with colors running through it, pinks, purples, blues and oranges. She was short, maybe 5’2 and she was very socially awkward. When Chloe was younger she really wanted to be a hairdresser, but her mum forced her into attending law school. Chloe didn’t want to upset her mother, so, she used her talents with hair as a side business as a way to make some extra cash. Now Sandra on the other hand was the complete opposite. Sandra was a girl of status in the law industry – as her dad was a lawyer. She was tall with luscious tanned legs that go for miles. Sandra had dark hair and dark eyes, with a European look to her plus she was really skinny and everything about her screamed sexy. Sandra always had all the guys pining over her like little puppies, even though she turned them all down.
As the night progressed I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched. You know the type of feeling you get when you think there is someone who just won’t stop staring at you? The hairs on the back of your neck stand up and cold shivers run down your spine, as if someone had ‘just walked over your grave’ as they say. That’s the feeling I had now, so I decided to call it a night with my friends and walk home.
As I was walking I started to feel dizzy, queasy even… did I really drink that much? A few minutes passed by and I couldn’t bring myself to walk any further. I hailed the first cab I saw and jumped in. My house was about a 10 minute walk away from our favorite hangout but I just couldn’t bear to walk any longer. The taxi drive made me feel worse. I wasn’t even sure if I was even in a taxi anymore and I just passed out.
I wish I was super mum – more so I wish she existed, and that she could come give me lesson. But much like most things to good to be true – they aren’t there and sadly never will be. I envy those mums who get up at 6am, have breakfast on the table by the time the kids are awake, kids get ready for school and by 10am mum has the house spotless, washing done and is down at the beauty salon getting her nails done.with her girlfriends… I envy those mums – why? Well because they are ‘super mum’ But they are also only on TV. Why be envious of the picture perfect scripted, acted, fake TV mum? The same reason women are envious or the airbrushed ‘skinny’ but in real like voluptuous women we see plastered all over the media – it is pretty much shoved in our face. But why the mum in particular? Well, since becoming a mother I have noticed a few things… Most mothers treat it like a competition, who’s child walks, talks and jumps through hoops first – shit if horse’s weren’t so expensive, every baby would have one now and they would be upgraded as regularly as the latest apple product came out. I came to this realization when my first son was born. All the mothers I knew were sharing where their children were at, development wise, and so I joined in with my friends because, well, they were my friends right? Wrong! I shared what my son had just learnt and wow! I had never been so shocked at a fellow mothers behavior towards me. Suddenly I was being called stupid by not just 1 mother, 3 of them… These girls who were supposed to be my friends, my support group, were suddenly abusing me for what my son had learnt to do? Yeah I can say for sure now – glad that didn’t last!
So why so competitive? Why is it such a huge problem to some mums if someone else’s child can crawl, walk or talk earlier before there’s? I know mothers with special needs children and you know what – they encourage all the non special needs children to achieve their best, they help them and they not once get angry because the seemingly ‘normal’ child does stuff before their child. So why aren’t we all taking a lesson from their book?
I’ve written a few posts about social media and how it has effected me, but honestly how does it effect you? When we are on social media sites, we are bombarded with advertisments, mainly of the fitness variety, telling us we need to be lose weight and be skinny and we can do it with these magic pills, or this meal replacement which happens to just be flavoured powder full of crap. We are faced with many images of our skinny friends and our overweight friends, our rich friends, our poor friends and that group of friends, that quite frankly, you wonder if they were raised on the street’s. We get app requests and game requests, we can like pages and we have pages suggested to us. We are faced with photos of sick children or abused animals, telling us if we don’t click a button on the screen then we are horrible people – much like of we aren’t skinny then we are unattractive people.
When we give birth we are given all these pamphlets, magazines and webside URLs, that tell us, when out child his thus age they should be doing this… Yes special needs Children aren’t left out of this game. We are told by nurses, midwives, doctors, specialists and well you get the idea, every professional under the sun “your child isn’t developing ‘normally’ like the other children” if they are the slightest off the milestone chart, and you are abused by jealous mothers and your child leaves those professionals astounded and confused, of your child is seemingly ‘ahead’ of all the other children.
It is no wonder some mums get jealous if their children don’t hit their ‘milestones’ It’s something that is bought up constantly throughout a child’s life. This does not exclude height and weight. We all want to be ‘super mum’ because we don’t want to fail our children as a parent, its why we want them to be ‘ahead’ or seek an explanation or diagnosis if they aren’t.
38 weeks and 6 days down… Only today is left to go.
Yes! The long wait is almost over, it will be over tomorrow in fact. Tomorrow I will be heading in to have my second son, this time I will be awake.
My last cesarean, sadly I was placed under general anesthetic at the last minute because it was an emergency. I must admit I do sort of wish they were going to put me to sleep this time aswell. I am anxious, I am scared and technically this will be my second ever surgery… And I will be awake…
Sure they place a screen up so you can’t see. They do a spinal block so you can’t feel. But they don’t have an imagination block to help rid me of all the crazy thoughts I am having – I’ve seen medical shows and I know what it looks like when someone is cut open and sewn back up… And that will be happening to me… And I’m going to be awake, AH!
Maybe I am overreacting – but I can’t help it. So I’m going to try and sleep all day so I don’t think about it.
Today I came up with 2 more ideas for my writing, one is a short story for children between 5-13 and another is for children aged 0-5. Although i do not know how i would go about publishing the one for younger kiddies I have been researching alot of the publishers in Adelaide. I was sent out a prospectus from an academy that I am interested in attending next year, which will be exciting (I will write about it if I ever get there) and I start two new subjects in november at uni, except these two subjects are at Curtin uni and Monash uni, lucky im studying via correspondance right? He he
So I just wanted to have a look see at my stats today and I see that I have over 400 followers now and I was shocked to see how many people from different countrys had stoped by to have a look too. If they stop by again I hope they read this and feel loved ((virtual internet hugs)) to everyone.
Soon I will be having another baby (as most of you know) I must say I am fairly scared about it. Ive been through labour, that was easy… Although i didnt get to finish because It all went horribly wrong and I needed an emergency c-section. They put me to sleep for that one, this time… I will be awake, and there is something that scares me about knowing on the other side of the blue screen… There will be the other half of my body open… Well on the bright side, its on the inside that counts right? ahhh… Still scared.
I will share the screen shots I took of all the different countrys.
I think that is pretty amazing, the fact that you can reach so many different people in a few months happy blogging everyone.
When I was a kid I received a smack on the behind when I was being naughty. I knew my place and I respect my parents to this day for doing so. As I was growing so was the trend ‘smacking our kids is wrong.’
Yes, I can see how sometimes smacking can be inappropriate and uncalled for, but when has it become normal to not discipline your kids at all? When my son is being naughty he receives a light smack to tell him off, put him in his place and so he grows up to respect his parents. Am I really considered a bad mother over this?
More and more I am seeing the lack of discipline becoming detrimental to society. Not only are the kids I have observed out and about at all hours of the night, they are running a muck and causing a lot of trouble.
Is this because peoples attitude to discipline changed? Or am I completely missing something and all the younger generations brains are hardwired to thinking that dressing like a hussy at 12, drinking all night at 10, hanging ‘down the street’ instead of being at school (skipping class) and not disciplining their kids (if they choose to have them) is A-oh-kay?
I think I must be missing something. I know a few mum who never say no to their children, who never tell their children off and who think smacking is wrong, but has it gotten beyond a joke when it comes to not disciplining our children to the point that we might be setting them all up for failure because they grew up without any discipline?
Children can only learnt by being taught through observation, interaction and discipline – well that is the way I see it anyway.
When I bring up the subject around other mum I get mixed opinions (of course with any controversial subject) but most of them have only been a mum just over a year and haven’t really been in the situation where proper discipline has been needed.
So to all my readers who would like to share their opinion with me (no judgment all opinions are welcome) please do because I hope I am not some crazy mum who forgot to hop onto the boat of ‘no discipline equals a better behaved child’ because I am not seeing it at all. Anywhere.