“Ha” they said.
“You can never achieve that” they say.
I think back to school, all the bullying and all the times I was kicked out of class (for reacting to the bullies) and all the “you will nevers”
From what I believed, by year nine (13-14 years old) I would never ammount to anything. In my fellow classmates eyes I was just a ‘slut’ who just happen to still be a virgin. I have lost count of the amount of times I have been told I was stupid, dumb, useless or I wouldn’t achieve anything, and I began to believe them and eventually gave up.
I gave up on my art, singing (not cooking otherwise we wouldn’t eat) I just basically said ‘f@#k it’ and let the bullies win.
I recently watched a TED talks episode “Adora Svitak: what adults can learn from children.” I was blown away. Not only was she up on stage speaking in front of millions, she had a sense of humor like an ‘adult.’
Adora starts off by talking about being called ‘childish’ and points out how adults can be childish too (eg: war, slavery) ill add to this with calling your child names, saying its their fault, saying they will never ammount to anything and not encouraging them.
Adoras parents bought her, her very own laptop, which she wrote 300 short stories on that laptop by the age of 6. Adora wanted to get published, so instead of telling her to wait until she was older or telling her it was stupid, her parents supported her until they found a publishing company that would take her on and trust her.
Why? Because her parents invested what most adults see as their ‘precious and valuable me time’ into their precious, valuable and creative daughter. Yep its hard to believe there ARE still some selfless adults out there.
I was in the supermarket the other day with Jordan and our 2 little boys Setesh (19 months old) and Atlas (2 months.)
We were minding our own business, doing our grocery shopping when this woman tried to start a fight with us, we just ignored her, later on in the shopping trip she tried again. Calling us losers for being parents of two children. Now its morally wrong to judge other (even though we all do it) but by the looks of things, this woman might have been jealous of us. We didn’t know her, we didn’t speak to her, we hadn’t even looked at her and she was with her pre-pubescent boy. They were both wearing clothes that looked like they had come from a second hand store or off the side of the road, but what she also didn’t realise is that I am on welfare too and its the same ammount as her if not less – so we were both ‘losers’ in the eye of the public.
Its this type of bullying and behavior that keeps a lot of people from achieving their goals. Because of this event we left the supermarket having done only half of our shopping – in fear or further abuse and avoidance of the situation.
How could some stranger treat us like that? Something must have intimidated her – the thought of someone possibly being better than her. This is where most parents go wrong with their children. The fear of their own offspring surpassing their intellectual status and becoming more successful or in general ‘better than they were.’
Failing to see that is the point.
Its to teach your offspring so they can be better, not the same and not less but better.
I’ve written about my son Setesh before, now I am surtain he can become something amazing.
Setesh is 1, he will be 2 this year. He can count to 10 and read (yes read) and recognize numbers from 1 to 6, he can solve simple puzzles (eg:- red red, blue blue, red red what comes next, answer being blue blue) he can collect items all of the same colour and tell you what colour they are, he can ask you questions and he can trick you. He will figure out how something works almost instantly ( you might as well give your new smart phone to him so he can show you how to use it.)
Of course that will spark some jealousy within other mums with children Setesh’s age, but why Setesh is they way he is, is because he has a group of people around him all day, everyday investing their precious spare time teaching him, talking to him, playing with him and no body talks to him like a baby.
Old saying – it takes a village to raise a child.
I’m not saying do as I do, I am simply pointing out how simple encouragment can go along way – we play flash cards with Setesh now.
I wish when I was in school I was continually encouraged, like Adora and Setesh. But my childhood is in the past now.
This year I started studying to become a ‘Neuroscientist’ and I realised there is no reason why I can’t teach Setesh this stuff too. Like Adora suggests – adults need to start trusting kids more. So I can trust that Setesh will turn out fine if I teach him what I am learning, I think it will be good for him. And yes he will still be my little baby but I want him to be better than I was when he is my age.
I was both my boys to surpass me physically and intellectually.
Because they are the leaders of tomorrow.