Posts Tagged ‘friends’
For those of you who are wondering, I posted my first draft copy, of my first chapter, of my first novel and for the first time. That is a lot of firsts. http://allworldissues.com/2012/12/05/rubys-notes-chapter-1-draft-thoughts/
I asked people for constructive criticism (yes good and bad) one thing you need to realize if you want to publish your work – you need to seek the criticism, and face the music – otherwise how are you going to improve and make it better?
Last night I spent a bit of time editing it (old school paper and pen style)
here is some of the edited copy – And for those who are wondering ALL my work IS in fact Copyrighted. So don’t be thieving
Being a school teacher wasn’t all it had cracked up to be. Sure there were a few perks, seeing the smiles on those children’s faces every time I entered the room, just as easily they smiled when it was time to pack their bags and go home, teaching them all about how the world works… How much they actually listen to is a different story. My name is Ruby, Ruby Kensington but you can call me Miss K.
I’m not married, I don’t even have a boyfriend, I don’t have children of my own and I don’t have any friends. No I am not a weirdo or maybe I am. You can decide that for yourself. I’m going to tell you a story about how I ended up in the position I am in.
June 28th 8:40pm. 1993
It was the 90’s and I was fresh out of law school, already I had already received my first job offer. I was desperate, so I went for it not knowing quite what I was getting myself into. We had arranged to meet at 9am the next day to discuss what the job involves, the only problem was that I did not know who I was meeting or why. I had received the phone call out of the blue, and the person I had spoken to did not go into any detail about the job, they just gave me a time and the address of where I would be meeting my ‘potential employer.’ When you are a lawyer, you don’t think too much about those types of phone calls – although I would have preferred to pick the location myself.
That night I had a group date with my best friends Chloe and Sandra.
They had been my friends since we were in law school. Chloe had long blond hair with colors running through it, pinks, purples, blues and oranges. She was short, maybe 5’2 and she was very socially awkward. When Chloe was younger she really wanted to be a hairdresser, but her mum forced her into attending law school. Chloe didn’t want to upset her mother, so, she used her talents with hair as a side business as a way to make some extra cash. Now Sandra on the other hand was the complete opposite. Sandra was a girl of status in the law industry – as her dad was a lawyer. She was tall with luscious tanned legs that go for miles. Sandra had dark hair and dark eyes, with a European look to her plus she was really skinny and everything about her screamed sexy. Sandra always had all the guys pining over her like little puppies, even though she turned them all down.
As the night progressed I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched. You know the type of feeling you get when you think there is someone who just won’t stop staring at you? The hairs on the back of your neck stand up and cold shivers run down your spine, as if someone had ‘just walked over your grave’ as they say. That’s the feeling I had now, so I decided to call it a night with my friends and walk home.
As I was walking I started to feel dizzy, queasy even… did I really drink that much? A few minutes passed by and I couldn’t bring myself to walk any further. I hailed the first cab I saw and jumped in. My house was about a 10 minute walk away from our favorite hangout but I just couldn’t bear to walk any longer. The taxi drive made me feel worse. I wasn’t even sure if I was even in a taxi anymore and I just passed out.
Ahh, you find yourself pregnant with your first child, you think ‘this is going to be great’ and can’t wait to meet your little one. As you go through your pregnancy you slowly but surely start to forget such simple things, like the washing or where you have placed your keys. By the 6th month you would be starting to wonder what’s up with you, or maybe you have forgotten to do that too. You have your precious baby, and you forget pretty much everything that had just happened because you are too preoccupied with your new baby. Then you fall pregnant again – yep guess you forgot unprotected sex can and most of the time will end up in pregnancy. You still haven’t recovered from your first… Not your body, your brain. You feel as if you are the baby sometimes, while your child gets smarter, you feel like you are heading in the opposite direction…
Baby brain! Yep it exists and sadly it effects most of us mothers. It’s one of the main reasons my posts are slowly declining. Between looking after my son, growing a new baby, getting ready for my c-section in 12 days and sleeping there is… Well see I forget, so its the part of my day where I could literally stick a note to my head that reads “Sorry, Britnys brain is currently on break, please come back later.”
Sad isn’t it?
Having babies in my opinion is hard work, sure it may look easy to those who have not carried a child for sometimes over 10 months a time, but let me assure you… It ain’t no piece of cake buddy, mmm cake would be nice right now – hahaha
But no seriously if you have seen ‘what to expect when your expecting’ and recall the scene at the expo where the pregnant lady breaks down on stage and rants about how shit it is being pregnant, then you should take that as a general guide to how most of us baby makers feel.
I have 12 days to go, I go to the toilet ever couple hours (which I must admit is a lot better than the mummas that need to go every half an hour) I could sleep all night and day and still have no energy to get off the couch to actually go to the toilet… And just to clear some misconceptions up – not every pregnant woman sits on their arse and eats all day, some do, but really you don’t need to eat anymore than maybe 400 extra calories a day in the last trimester… This is something that bugs me a lot of tv aswell, they stereotypical pregnant woman who wants all the pastries and then some. Sorry to the woman that are like this when they are pregnant and sadly I have not experienced this joyful spout of cravings.
I am huge and heavy and completely over it. So I hope the next 12 days will go fast.
Hey mum, I think you ate too much cake bahahaha
One thing I have noticed about being a writer is the amount of time I have spent writing something, only for it to have to walk its way to the bin, much like in monopoly ‘Go to jail, do not pass go and don’t even attempt to collect that mouthwatering $200 on the way’ never to see the light of day again.
It happens a lot with us writers, whether we are typeing in word or writing on paper, we can spend hours upon hours and drink caffeinated drink after caffeinated drink, only to find ourselves throwing out or deleting what we have just written.
I have written so many things over the past few weeks and I have just thrown them out or deleted them, mainly because the things I have written are just emotionally fueled hate speech’s against some people in my life, which I don’t actually mean – in that case thank god for the delete button.
This post was inspired by http://olycam.wordpress.com/2012/10/21/wasted-time/ where as you can see in the photo there is a sign that says “I’ve spent most of my life drinking coffee, the rest I’ve just wasted”
I feel this applys to how I am feeling right now. Upon catching up with a friend I had not seen in about 5 years, I realized, much like most of my writings, my life too seems to be going to waste – take away the whole having a son and being pregnant thing, I’m not talking about that.
It just made me realize I really hadn’t done much in the past 5 years apart from
-experiment with drugs
-gotten into a lot of pointless relationships (excluding most recent)
-get into trouble
-get pregnant again
-move state again
-wait for c-section date
-and look after my son
It’s funny because my mum just said “I don’t know how anyone can complain about having nothing to do, I always have something to do but never have enough time” – my mum is someone that can always find something to do.
I need to find more to do. And I need to stop wasting my writings. From now on I won’t be throwing away what I have written or deleting it. because you never know when it might come in handy.
Back to my friend. We caught up for coffee after so many years of not seeing each other. The last time I saw him I was pretty much doing my walk of shame home from a night of under aged drinking, he had broken down on the side of the road and we chatted briefly then I continued my adventure home.
Sipping at my hazel nut late while my son was covering himself in baby chino, I listened to my friend tell me about everything that had happened since I had last seen me. Basically, he has a daughter is a baker and is saving up for a house.
We took my son to go see a petting zoo aswell, then I went home.
when one door closes, another door opens – but if you don’t don’t close that door behind you, the past will forever be by your side.
I need to get out more – take my son places more like petting zoos and cafes for baby chinos with mum.
I might feel like I’ve wasted the past 5 years of my life just because my friend has ideally done more than me, but I have just gone down a different path. Much like with throwing away the piece of writing you spent hours on – its not that its shit and you wasted your time on it, its just that at the time maybe its best that it doesn’t get seen by anyone and you re-visit it later.
I usually always find the answers I’m looking for in music, but today nothing…
I wish I could just stop time for just a few minutes, just to have some time to myself to think, to be able to clear up all my thoughts and sort out all my feelings. But no matter how hard I wish, that is one thing that is impossible and maybe I should just wait until my son goes to bed tonight to revisit the situation with my brain. But I can’t do that because miss brain is an impatient chatter box and wants to talk about it right now, and all the time…
Over the past week I have been speaking to a good friend about my problems, and although I am boring him by going over the same things over and over again, he’s given me a lot of good advice that never falls far from the tree of my feelings… But still I lack the confidence to reach for those stray apples of advice, pick them up and bite into them like eve and the forbidden fruit. Thirsty for knowledge, and all the answers, I am scared of the answers and the solutions, I have herd them over and over again, yet I am still very reluctant to face those fears.
Maybe a pros and cons list would help?
All I can say right now is thank god for friends
Day 1 – Enjoy the little things in life
So this morning I woke up and decided that for my holiday I will take a photo or series of photos a day and write about them and I will try to be as positive as possible.
This morning my son and I decided to take a walk in the garden. We didn’t get very far because we were stopped by this purple flower. Sorry I do not recall the name of it, but I ask you to pay attention to the detail of this particular flower. Notice all the lines, the different shades of colour and the smaller petals compared to the big.
Life is a bit like this flower.
It is small to some and big to others.
Some people in it seek perfection and others are rough around the edges.
Some people are strong and mighty, they can withstand strong winds.
Some people are fragile and one touch will send them crumbling.
Life has fine lines and wrinkles.
It is full of colour and joy.
But it is also filled with sadness and sorrow.
This flower is a very simple thing in life, and it won’t be around forever so it is important for us to enjoy it while it last’s
Like life, we aren’t going to be here forever, no matter how many anti-aging remedies they come out with. So we should enjoy every day as it comes, we should always tell the people that we love how we feel about them and we should always be true to ourselves.
It is also important not to let someone stop you from fulfilling your dreams, or going on that holiday you have always wanted to go on. Sure you may not have enough money, but who is to judge what enough money is when it comes to fun? You really don’t need money to have fun, you might need it for a passport and plane ticket but once you reach your destination, I think you can find so many things that don’t involve money to keep yourself occupied.
The best things in life are free.
Just experiencing the world is free, forget the drama and just live.
Share with me your favorite thing in life and why it is your favorite thing.
I would love to pretend that I am fine, but I can only do for a little while, I am not fine with everything, especially not the past events in the last week or so.
I wrote a facebook status today
“Sometimes, in life you are faced with a crossroad, and you have to choose the right path. At the time you will never know what path to take, you just have to believe at the time it is the right one. You take that path and you find yourself at more crossroads… If you just have faith… you can overcome ANYTHING. No. Matter. What… even if it might have been a mistake… you cannot predict the future”
Sometimes you can find it hard to write straight from the heart, but that’s what I have been trying to do, even if I can’t just come out and say the right things to him, I just hope maybe he is feeling the genuine sadness I have about everything I have done.
I have started my own goal as to how I am going to fix everything, but I have to be an adult about things now and not a ‘stupid teenager’ who assumes that just saying sorry will fix things. Sorry doesn’t cut it. At. All…
People will know you are sorry, when you show them that you can grow the F up and act like you are genuinely sorry with your actions…
Step one. Apologise. Check
Step two. Seek professional help. – This one I am slowly doing… My doctor isn’t referring me to a ‘shrink’ per say, but a ‘therapist’ or ‘counsellor’ to help deal with the stress, depression and whatever other issues I want to address.
Step three. Re-introduce yourself… and I mean yourself… not the ‘I am hiding from my troubles’ self the “I got help, are you happy now, because I am pretty darn happy with myself at the moment’ self.
Step four. Well I haven’t made this step up yet… but I assume it has something to do with seeing how all of those three steps pan out.
I can’t say I really put much thought into any of this, but what I can say if that just like my facebook status says… You cannot predict the future, and that is the main thing to remember here.
I cannot predict the future… so throw at me your worst. I will come back from everything thrown at me.
Which I am extreamly greatful for. I would like to start off with something a bit different, a little speil about my time here on wordpress so far, because today is a very good day and it seems lucky in my eyes.
begining my journey on wordpress I didnt think I would ever get noticed, it has been… Since june, so almost. 4 months since I first opened up my account. My very first post was not bad, needed work and didn’t do as well as I hoped. http://allworldissues.com/2012/06/26/facebook-what-have-we-become/
My next month wasnt too bad, my best post for that month was this one http://allworldissues.com/2012/06/30/dont-sweat-the-small-stuff-and-its-all-small-stuff-richard-carlson-phd/ still this post is very popular
And last month my most popular post was http://allworldissues.com/2012/08/28/a-truly-inspirational-post-deserves-a-im-trying-to-be-inspirational-counter-post/
In the time I have been on here I have seen my views sky rocket and fall just as fast day after day
And month after month
Before I started writing this post I took a few screen shots of my stats for it, and I must say that i am happy with this number
So now I must get to nominees that I have chosen for this award.
I have chosen only a few people so far, because i am still in the middle of my choices and answering the questions. But until then, stay tuned.