Posts Tagged ‘love’
Once upon a butterfly
Posted on: March 23, 2013
I remember when I was younger, I could write and write… There was never an ending to my stories. Now that I am older, I don’t have the time to just write and write and write.
For my readers, they are probably thinking ‘but you update your blog alot’ yes that is true, but I take a whole day to write a post, or write when the kids are napping or at night time.
How do we find the time to keep writing though, when life seems so busy? Truth is its not about ‘finding time’ its about choosing how to use your time wisely.
My pages and computers used to be filled with short stories, if only they had of been as valuable to me then as they would have been now. Now my pages are mostly blank, waiting for someone to come along and write something other than study notes on them.
When I say ‘once upon a butterfly’ I think about how a butterfly seems so insignificant to most. Well its just a small creature right? Something that doesn’t live very long, I mean they are pretty I guess…
Like all creatures, organisms, animals, minerals – well basically everything that isn’t a human – the live their life… That’s really all, they aren’t living and striving to impress the world, just one other butterfly, same with any animal. Seriously could you imagine animals trying to impress other species? It would look a bit like this.
My point is, it doesn’t matter if I write once a day, once a month or once a year. I still impress my partner every time and that’s my goal.
Once upon a butterfly, life was simple, they were in love and life was blissful.
Yes I found this little critter on my walk yesterday - my inspiration for this post
I guess you could say I am an impecunious bibliomaniac, yes an impecunious [im-peh-KYOO-nee-uhs] one, not because I am literally ‘poor’ per say, but because I really can’t afford to buy new books all the time, and sometimes I do anyway… even if I don’t get around to reading it until a year later and it becomes the next addition to my backlog of books to read.
Right now my book collection is in storage at my parents’ house until I move into my new home… and buy the amount of book cases I will need for them. But until then I have just been building a new collection until I can be re-united with my older collection.
When I go shopping for a new book, I have no idea what I am looking for, I really at the end of the day just buy whatever books seem interesting at the time, I don’t go for the ‘popular’ books because sometimes you can end up buying something that was not so flattering and along the erotic side of things, when really you just wanted to see what the hype was. The last ‘popular’ novel I bought was ‘The casual vacancy’ written by the one and only J.K Rowling, I still haven’t gotten around to reading this because I have so many other books to read first.
I’ve decided I need to keep a book log, like the ones you get in the library, to show which books you have read and which ones you haven’t, I guess doing a book log is a great way to keep track and review all the books I’ve read. I guess like the website Goodreads. The problem I have with the popular site isn’t that I don’t like it, we all know how many people consider it their esprit de corps, it is that it does not like me… well not me, but my laptop and my phone. For some reason I have the worst luck when it comes to technology, my choices never seem to want to support the regular websites I usually go to.
I don’t want to sound like a mountebank here, but I think paper and pen will be my best option. I am constantly having to buy new writing books because they all serve different purposes. I have separate writing books for everything, from chemistry to theory’s and maths, I also have one specifically for the elements of the periodic table and all the elements properties.
I must stop speaking so magniloquently now, some of you might be getting confused. 
There is a real stigma that lurks about when you mention ‘early start’. You instantly dread the morning and plague the room with the hate radiating from your body.
Well for me anyway. Its 5am right now and I am awake. On a normal day I would be thinking ‘kill me now’ but today I am embracing this, as I think it is the first time in years I haven’t woken up stuffy and congested or just down right ill. I feel amazing and healthy, for the first time in along time (must be all that gym).
There is a strange sense of peace at this time of the morning, although Atlas is awake, people are in their beds dreaming about this serenity and I have it. Right now at 5am… Peace
A HUGE thank you to everyone in the wordpress-sphere and many more to come.
Posted on: March 5, 2013
So it is nearing on close to a year since I joined word press, although in that year I havent had the honor of one of my post’s becoming ‘Freshly pressed’ I have worked hard to get to where I am today. Over 1000 Followers, and
I must say I have worked hard for every one of them.
So I am not much of a social network junkie, but I have had a twitter account for some time now and although I don’t go on it much, I am slowly getting the hang of it and I have finally added one of those ‘Hey follow me on twitter’ Widgets on the side of my blog *point to side*
Now I know, I know… Another way for my Stalkers to stalk me… but hey if it floats their boat right? I mean they are pretty insignificant to me now anyway 
Starting my blog was probably one of the best things I could have done last year, I started it shortly after I finally bought my prescription glasses and was able to read and write without having difficulty seeing the screen (apparently I am as blind as a bat… well not that blind… not blind at all for that matter).
I have gained the confidence I really needed to finally say ‘Yes! I know what I want to do with my life and I am going to go for it.’ It gave me the confidence to share my opinion and speak my mind, and hear others opinions on the subject. It gave me the ability to finally show the world who I am through my writing and it gave me the chance to connect with my followers on another level.
There have been many times where writing has just been a pain in the backside for me over this past year, and times where it has just flowed like a river from my mind right onto the pages of my blog. There have been spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, controversial posts, friendships formed and stalkers have been able to feed their crazy sick weird habits by reading my every post. I also feel pretty safe knowing who my stalker is and the chair they sit on is wearing very thin…
I have been able to read so many wonderful posts written by you all and I hope to read many more. I also look forward to the years to come with my blog.
Starting my blog was like re-starting my life again.
For that I thank you all.
Lemon and pepper salmon cuits dans du papier (cooked in paper.)
Today I thought I would share what I cooked for dinner, because it was quick and simple.
So you want to start with your ingredients: serves 2 btw (by the way)
2 salmon fillets
2 lemons
1 tomato
Handful of alfalfa sprouts
Quarter of cucumber
Olive oil
Table spoon butter
Pinch salt and pepper
So you wanna start with the salmon, grab an oven dish and some baking paper, place the salmon on the baking paper (in the oven dish of course) season with the table spoon of butter, whole lemon juice, salt and pepper. Wrap the paper up and place in the oven at 180c fan forced for 20-30 mins.
Build your salad with the rest if your ingredients. How ever you want it fine, drizzle with olive oil and a bit more lemon juice to taste.
My salad looked like this.
Then when the salmon is cooked, take it out the oven and serve it
Should look something like this.
Simplicity at its best
Posted on: February 19, 2013
I would like to post today a few photos, to remind you how simple things can be so beautiful.
These things seem meaningless to most, but to me… Less is more and simplicity is pure beauty.
So yes, I guess you could say I’m a writer, but mostly I am a thinker and I don’t spend nearly as much time on WordPress as I should.
I write a lot of blog posts that don’t even make it onto my site, they either stay on paper or in my head. Some do, the ones I know will get a reaction from people, the ones that make you question you’re existence, the ones that make you smile and laugh and the ones that will make you worried or upset. Sometimes they are small and sometimes they are long, pointless, annoying and senseless. Sometimes my grammar is poor and sometimes it’s over done.
I consider myself a writer, because I find everyone is a writer.
A writer isn’t just someone who can sit there type a few hundred thousand words onto a page, print it out and call it a story, a writer isn’t just someone who reads a lot of books and considers themselves as a ‘nerd’ or ‘bookworm’ or a lover of all things fine and delicate, like a nice glass or bitter tasting red wine (that realistically took them years to acquire the taste for) and a decent paper back on a rainy afternoon.
A writer isn’t just someone who can write a blog post, have hundreds of people read it and feel satisfied at the end of the post, knowing people actually enjoy what you have to share with everyone.
A writer is all these things and more… I guess right?
A writer is a child, who’s imagination knows no bounds, who’s tree is easily converted into a rocket ship, who’s clothes line is Ferris wheel, who’s mothers bra is a pair of head phones, who’s nappies are meteors heading for the earth and who’s sandpit and bucket it’s easily a beach filled with animals and a giant killer kraken who need slaying.
A writer is the crazy person in the mental hospital who can’t quite work out who they are.
A writer is like volcano, lying dormant for years until one day they just have to explode.
You reading this are a writer, your smile has a story and your mind wants to tell it, quick! Pick up that pen and paper, write it, tell it to the world, they may not like it, but that’s not the point – see you don’t have to like my story, because being a writer isn’t about who likes what you have to say, it’s about saying it anyway.
It’s about disregarding the criticism and it’s about just doing.
Go now fruitful minds, write until you cannot write anymore, you know no boundaries for you’re like a child, a child who leaps over all obstacles because they may not see it but there is a giant to be slain and his name is Fear
“Ha” they said.
“You can never achieve that” they say.
I think back to school, all the bullying and all the times I was kicked out of class (for reacting to the bullies) and all the “you will nevers”
From what I believed, by year nine (13-14 years old) I would never ammount to anything. In my fellow classmates eyes I was just a ‘slut’ who just happen to still be a virgin. I have lost count of the amount of times I have been told I was stupid, dumb, useless or I wouldn’t achieve anything, and I began to believe them and eventually gave up.
I gave up on my art, singing (not cooking otherwise we wouldn’t eat) I just basically said ‘f@#k it’ and let the bullies win.
I recently watched a TED talks episode “Adora Svitak: what adults can learn from children.” I was blown away. Not only was she up on stage speaking in front of millions, she had a sense of humor like an ‘adult.’
Adora starts off by talking about being called ‘childish’ and points out how adults can be childish too (eg: war, slavery) ill add to this with calling your child names, saying its their fault, saying they will never ammount to anything and not encouraging them.
Adoras parents bought her, her very own laptop, which she wrote 300 short stories on that laptop by the age of 6. Adora wanted to get published, so instead of telling her to wait until she was older or telling her it was stupid, her parents supported her until they found a publishing company that would take her on and trust her.
Why? Because her parents invested what most adults see as their ‘precious and valuable me time’ into their precious, valuable and creative daughter. Yep its hard to believe there ARE still some selfless adults out there.
I was in the supermarket the other day with Jordan and our 2 little boys Setesh (19 months old) and Atlas (2 months.)
We were minding our own business, doing our grocery shopping when this woman tried to start a fight with us, we just ignored her, later on in the shopping trip she tried again. Calling us losers for being parents of two children. Now its morally wrong to judge other (even though we all do it) but by the looks of things, this woman might have been jealous of us. We didn’t know her, we didn’t speak to her, we hadn’t even looked at her and she was with her pre-pubescent boy. They were both wearing clothes that looked like they had come from a second hand store or off the side of the road, but what she also didn’t realise is that I am on welfare too and its the same ammount as her if not less – so we were both ‘losers’ in the eye of the public.
Its this type of bullying and behavior that keeps a lot of people from achieving their goals. Because of this event we left the supermarket having done only half of our shopping – in fear or further abuse and avoidance of the situation.
How could some stranger treat us like that? Something must have intimidated her – the thought of someone possibly being better than her. This is where most parents go wrong with their children. The fear of their own offspring surpassing their intellectual status and becoming more successful or in general ‘better than they were.’
Failing to see that is the point.
Its to teach your offspring so they can be better, not the same and not less but better.
I’ve written about my son Setesh before, now I am surtain he can become something amazing.
Setesh is 1, he will be 2 this year. He can count to 10 and read (yes read) and recognize numbers from 1 to 6, he can solve simple puzzles (eg:- red red, blue blue, red red what comes next, answer being blue blue) he can collect items all of the same colour and tell you what colour they are, he can ask you questions and he can trick you. He will figure out how something works almost instantly ( you might as well give your new smart phone to him so he can show you how to use it.)
Of course that will spark some jealousy within other mums with children Setesh’s age, but why Setesh is they way he is, is because he has a group of people around him all day, everyday investing their precious spare time teaching him, talking to him, playing with him and no body talks to him like a baby.
Old saying – it takes a village to raise a child.
I’m not saying do as I do, I am simply pointing out how simple encouragment can go along way – we play flash cards with Setesh now.
I wish when I was in school I was continually encouraged, like Adora and Setesh. But my childhood is in the past now.
This year I started studying to become a ‘Neuroscientist’ and I realised there is no reason why I can’t teach Setesh this stuff too. Like Adora suggests – adults need to start trusting kids more. So I can trust that Setesh will turn out fine if I teach him what I am learning, I think it will be good for him. And yes he will still be my little baby but I want him to be better than I was when he is my age.
I was both my boys to surpass me physically and intellectually.
Because they are the leaders of tomorrow.
Just because
Posted on: January 7, 2013
Yes, I am a ‘teen mum.
‘But not like those teen mums you see glorified on tv for their immature, disrespectful, outrageous and downright stupid behaviour. I personally do not like the ‘reality tv’ shows ‘teen mom’ and ‘teen mom 2.’
If you have seen these ‘reality tv’ shows then you will know what I mean – unless you like or support this kind of ‘reality tv’ show, then fair enough – please don’t be offended because I do not agree with this behaviour being showcased as typical ‘teenage mother’ behaviour.
I know exactly what it is like to be looked down upon for being a teen mother, and tv shows like these do not help with that. I do however come from a place where being eighteen and having a child is completely acceptable, as eighteen is when you are considered an ‘adult’ in the eyes of the law and most people outside of the law.
The big one-eight, your ultimate ticket to ‘adulthood’ is sitting in your purse and has been for 2 years (if you obtained your learners permit or p plates when you were 16) for you to call upon it in times of need – when being asked the question
“Can I see your ID please?”
A question that is not only daunting but most exciting for those underaged and newly deemed ‘adult.’
I am reflecting upon this because this year I will be turning twenty. You would think I would be less excited than what I am, considering I am getting older, but I am really excited – why? Well for two reasons actually; a trip to Thailand and to finally be rid of the title ‘teen mum.’
Now don’t get me wrong (just throwing it our there that ‘don’t get me wrong’ is an interesting way of saying ‘don’t get the wrong Idea’ or ‘please don’t jump to conclusions’) I love my children to bits, and to put it across honestly – falling pregnant at 17 ideally saved my life from what could have been a dangerous path to further drug abuse and a potential premature death.
A lot of people say “things happen for a reason” but they don’t really. I used to catch myself saying this as a way to justify everything; break ups, bad decisions I had made, things going missing ect. But really, I didn’t fall pregnant because it was ‘meant to happen’ at a socially unacceptable age – I fell pregnant because I did the normal healthy thing – have sex, only I didn’t use protection… Again.
That doesn’t mean I would change my decision, it only means I have recognised something that not many people my age recognise. The decisions you make are that of your own carelessness aren’t ‘meant to be’ or ‘fate’ they are just because you made it that way, just because you chose to do it regardless of the consequences… Just because.
Isn’t that what life is about, just because? Maybe learning to accept ‘what is’ can be one of the meanings.
Nobody knows the meaning of life, we go through so much in our time on the forever changing earth, but do we really stop and wonder these things? Maybe the meaning of life is just that… Not to wonder, not to care, and just live and turn a blind eye most and call it ‘fate.’
I don’t think so – but it’s what most of us do.
In every culture you will find stories -of gods- of sky beings- of he who came from the sky/heavens-gods on flying carpets- on ‘vestmas’- in space ships- on rockets- on planes- on dragons- on horsesThey have:- animal heads- animal bodies- human heads- oversized ‘alien like’ heads-similar storiesBut one thing in common
- the promise of death and judgment
“Follow my rules, do my bidding and reap the rewards after you pass from this life.”Is that the meaning of life? To follow a book, to have faith in our cultures god, to follow the rules – that of which god created and that of which man came along, took some out and put more in?
Take infidelity for example, punishable by god – acceptable by humans… How does that make sense at all?But drugs on the other hand, are so bad and horrible that we must lock people away, for using and supplying, for life and throw away the key…Or an even better example, Americans constitutional right to own a gun, because if someone is trying to hurt you, you have the right to hurt them worse, even kill them?And what about war?”We’re fighting for world peace” they say – well no, your just fighting because it makes money and is thrilling, how many wars have happened since man walked the earth? Yeah exactly.Have we achieved world peace yet?Have we all accepted that maybe there might be more than one god or maybe no god?Have we taken into account all the different story’s?Are we all really “for the people” or just for ourselves?
‘Fighting for world peace’ is stupid because fighting does not result in peace at all, it results in billions of lost lives just so the greedy can prosper. War is created for money, fuelled by money – ultimate goal? Well that’s to have more money of course. Excuses for wars? Religion, world peace, “that country is a threat to our country” – so that’s fear. Just because one small group of people want to kill a few of us… So what do we do? Oh I know lets kill them all.
We will kill their mothers, we will kill their fathers, their children and their teachers, we will kill their friends and their pets, oh yes don’t forget their pets, we must not forget them. We will blow up their schools because modern education is evil and we will blow up their houses because they should live I’m the slums if they survive that is.Why?Well they apparently kills thousands of people in our country so it is perfectly ok for us to play god and take the guilty and innocent lives, place them in our line of fire and kill them all… Oh but they started it so its ok.
Billions of dollars will be spent to fuel this war guys, we don’t need more education so cut that, we need the money for military forces, health care funds? What we don’t need that, they will die sometime anyway, we need the money for new guns. The homeless? They’re just a burden, might as well send them front of the line, so our soldiers can be safe… Yes we may need more hospitals and doctors but we need the money to fuel this century’s war first… Then we will have world peace, these other things can wait.
Sorry to break it to you guys but the only way to achieve world peace is to get off your high horse and stop fighting.
Much like the decision to have a child young… You just have to suck all that pride back in, stop being selfish, accept it for what it is, spend less on nothing and more on something that you spent 9-10 months growing inside you and become at peace with the world you live in.
War may continue, the wicked will continue to prosper, the poor will continue to be seen as a burden on society, the homeless will still be seen as worthless scum and world peace is nothing but a dream.
But this year I will be twenty, I have two kids, I have no home I call ‘my own’ and hardly anything in the bank because of forever paying bills. One thing is surtain though – I am at peace with the world and I accept it and everyone, exactly how it is…
Why?
Well just because.
“Inspired from the book ‘the thing you think you cannot do… thirty truths about fear and courage’ written by Gordon Livingston, M.D. Author of the international best seller ‘too soon old, too late smart’
Coffee and travels
Posted on: December 27, 2012
Wow, what a hectic couple of weeks it has been here in Ballarat. With everyone in a rush to buy last minute Christmas presents and then in even more of a rush to spend on boxing day. Sometimes I wonder how do you relax in this festive season.. it may be over already but it still feels like I must be rushing.
Let’s start from, Christmas shopping – this part was quite enjoyable. It’s one thing I love about Christmas – being able to give something to someone and bring joy to them. I did manage to lose one of the Christmas gifts I wrapped for my partners niece.. but we did indeed replace it and she loved it anyway.
It has been really sunny here in Ballarat, since I’ve been here I have managed to get sunburnt twice.
Jordan decided to take me out to dinner at one if my favorite restaurants in Ballarat ‘Da Vincis.’ Not one are the meals really good, the staff are lovely and the place looks amazing. Painted on the walls are Da Vinci pieces of work, not original paintings of course, unless he happen to rise for that particular occasion.
Jordan at Da Vincis
Me drinking Whiskey and Coke
One of the paintings on the wall
I was meaning to take pictures of our meal, but we were do busy talking about the female waitress who happen to he lurking around our table – she wasn’t our waitress for the night and we were the only customers down the front if the restaurant. We found it just a bit creepy.
Jordan and I had actually left 2 pillows we had bout under our table at this restaurant. Luckily we were able to get them back.
I will skip to Christmas, nothing else really happened during the time before, besides all the Christmas shopping.
Christmas eve was very hectic, I think we left a few things to the last minute. Jordan and I took a walk up the road to the Christmas light display they had put together, I understand that there are people in this town who get into it a lot and spend a lot of money to bring joy to all the children (and all the drunken, drugged up teens I saw marvelled at all the colourful lights and bubble machines.)
Our son Setesh was pretty amazed by the display aswell. Although he was really interested in this singing dear they had mounted on the wall.
We stayed up until around 2-3 am, helping Mum (my mother in law) with cleaning, while she cooked. Honestly we didn’t get much cleaning done, it was a very exhausting day and we spent most the time chatting while waiting for turkey and ham to cook. But we did a pretty good job for the time we made use of. The kids woke up in a really good mood Christmas morning, straight to their presents, wrapping paper flying everywhere. Something that bugs me about Christmas is spending so much on wrapping paper all for one day – what a money maker! Mum and I discussed using plain brown paper, I suggested buying a huge roll and spending time painting and stamping it to make it look Christmasy (is that even a word?)
Yes Jordan received coal from mittens partner for Christmas (his younger brother)
Once again, I forgot to take photos of all the wonderful food we had to eat, so you will just have to take my word for it. It was amazing!
But there was Christmas punch I took a photo of
Very sunny Christmas day
Was an extremely good day, I hope everyone loved the gifts they received from everyone on this day.
On boxing day, I was already for the boxing day sales.
Well sort of ha ha, after my morning coffee I was alright. The rest of the family set off to shepparton for Christmas at Aunty Chris’s house, sadly Jordan and I couldn’t join them this year as it was an early start for Jordan the next day and he cannot risk taking any time off (two people were fired for taking the day off recently.)
It was extremely busy down the shops on boxing day. Jordan and I combined all our Christmas money and gift cards together and purchased the new Nintendo Wii U
We bought the premium game pack they were selling, it came with a bunch of accessories and 2 games ‘Nintendoland’ and ‘Just Dance 4′ I also purchased the new ‘Assassins Creed 3′ on sale $30 off
The kids really enjoy ‘Just Dance 4′
Setesh will be 2 next year, I fear he will take over the world by then with his dancing ability and tantrums.
Jordan and I went out for dinner the other night, we went to a really nice Chinese restaurant called ‘Golden Crown’
We ate some Honey chicken, Lemon Duck, Fried rice and Singapore noodles. I really should keep my phone charged, this is the reason I didn’t take photos of the meal, Jordan took the photo if the outside of the restaurant for me.
Before we had decided to eat at this place for dinner we went for a walk to a new supplement/body building shop that has recently opened up in town, we had a chat and I purchased a tank top from them (it is also helping advertise the store.)
After we left this store we made our way to the restaurant, on the way I spotted this down an alley in ‘Bridge mall’
I thought it was an amazing collection of photos taken if Ballarat. So it is perfect to end this post with.
Stay tuned for my next post.
