While sitting in the waiting room at the hospital (I’ve been sitting here for well over an hour now) I noticed everyone staring at me as my youngest was bawling his poor little eyes out. I had to bounce him, pat his back and settle him to sleep. I was stressed at this moment for two reasons, my baby was upset, but so was everyone else in the hospital. Like its such a burden on everyone else, that they are stuck listening to my child cry, they even have to make me feel so uncomfortable by watching me try and settle him. As if they were timing me.
It began to make me wonder though, why do people do the things they do. Right now my partner is causing a stir with our eldest, playing and laughing, he is screaming with joy and sharing treats and tissues. It is excused because he is having fun and the youngest finally went to sleep, he is sleeping on me, in this hospital while there is coughing and splattering all around us… He doesn’t wake up, or stare at the sick people as they stared at us just before.
I wonder should I have have to feel as though I am settling him for the peace of mind of others?
Is it really ok for people to make mothers with crying children more uncomfortable than they already are?
Is it really that agonising for you to hear a baby crying in pain?
I wonder, if it is my sudden need for forgiveness from these strangers… if it is the reasoning behind half of the stress that comes with taking your children out.
People have a constant fear of not fitting it, we really want to impress strangers because we assume strangers are judging us all the time. Fact is we don’t know and the fear of not knowing something is just as hard as finding out the truth about something. We fear we aren’t good enough, to the point where some people won’t go outside because of a bad hair day and a lot of people sit behind their computer screens, just as I am now, except they live their whole lives through their virtual world.
What are your thoughts?