Tag Archives: Postaday

My addiction to writing… In my head

So yes, I guess you could say I’m a writer, but mostly I am a thinker and I don’t spend nearly as much time on WordPress as I should.

I write a lot of blog posts that don’t even make it onto my site, they either stay on paper or in my head. Some do, the ones I know will get a reaction from people, the ones that make you question you’re existence, the ones that make you smile and laugh and the ones that will make you worried or upset. Sometimes they are small and sometimes they are long, pointless, annoying and senseless. Sometimes my grammar is poor and sometimes it’s over done.

I consider myself a writer, because I find everyone is a writer.
A writer isn’t just someone who can sit there type a few hundred thousand words onto a page, print it out and call it a story, a writer isn’t just someone who reads a lot of books and considers themselves as a ‘nerd’ or ‘bookworm’ or a lover of all things fine and delicate, like a nice glass or bitter tasting red wine (that realistically took them years to acquire the taste for) and a decent paper back on a rainy afternoon.
A writer isn’t just someone who can write a blog post, have hundreds of people read it and feel satisfied at the end of the post, knowing people actually enjoy what you have to share with everyone.
A writer is all these things and more… I guess right?

A writer is a child, who’s imagination knows no bounds, who’s tree is easily converted into a rocket ship, who’s clothes line is Ferris wheel, who’s mothers bra is a pair of head phones, who’s nappies are meteors heading for the earth and who’s sandpit and bucket it’s easily a beach filled with animals and a giant killer kraken who need slaying.

A writer is the crazy person in the mental hospital who can’t quite work out who they are.

A writer is like volcano, lying dormant for years until one day they just have to explode.

You reading this are a writer, your smile has a story and your mind wants to tell it, quick! Pick up that pen and paper, write it, tell it to the world, they may not like it, but that’s not the point – see you don’t have to like my story, because being a writer isn’t about who likes what you have to say, it’s about saying it anyway.
It’s about disregarding the criticism and it’s about just doing.

Go now fruitful minds, write until you cannot write anymore, you know no boundaries for you’re like a child, a child who leaps over all obstacles because they may not see it but there is a giant to be slain and his name is Fear

Internet not so safety

I wanted to take some time to talk about ‘internet safety.’ Why? Well because it is important as a user of the internet that you do everything you can so you and your children stay safe on the net.

Now I know this post will probably be overlooked, because lets face it. Everyone thinks they are being totally safe on the internet… Until its too late.

Ok so let me run some of the ‘Teen internet usage’ statistics past you – as they seem to be the majority of internet users these days.

So firstly, did you know only 5 % of offenders pretend to be a teenager when talking to your teen, yep that was only 5 %. So that means you or your teenagers 95% of the time know the age of the offender and you or they keep talking to them – regardless of the fact they just told you they were 45 and you had a ‘mighty fine body’ for a 15 year old (this is classic pedophile behavior.)

Nearly 75% of victims met up with their offender more than once, yep, they went and had coffee with them and hung out as ‘buddies’ and you didn’t even know it.

Although it is rare – an internet obsession can lead to stalking, and if you feel you are being stalked you should probably report it to the police or tell your parents.

Youth who engaged in four or more risky online behaviors were much more likely to report online sexual solicitations. The online risky behaviors included maintaining buddy lists that included strangers, discussing sex online with people they did not know in person and being rude or nasty online. Facebook users have so much fun targeting people for these things.

Boys who were gay or questioning their sexuality may be more susceptible to internet-initiated sex crimes.

58% of teens do not think posting photos or other personal info on a social networking site is unsafe and nearly half of teens are not worried about people using their personal info for things they do not want… So basically stealing your identity – hey kids, ever looked up fraud?

Many teens are just not concerned with these things, and assume they are ‘all grown up’ because they have the ability to fake their age, look at adult content and have adult conversations with strangers.

But its not just teens, its adults too… Look I’m not trying to scare you or stear you away from one of man’s best inventions yet. I am just pointing out that you shouldn’t always believe what somebody tells you over the ok internet – I know because a dear friend of mine was murdered for this exact thing a few years ago Google Carly Ryan.

71% of teens have a social networking profile.

69% of teens receive private messages from people they don’t know and most of them don’t tell a trusted adult.

64% post photos or videos of themselves, eg in their underwear or nude on facebook. This means that those 30-90 year old strangers they have added will gawk over your childs photos or your own… Umm eww!

58% of teens publicly show their address (down to the house) and 8% their phone number (most my friends phone numbers are public.)

Statistics from http://www.onlinesafetysite.com/p1/teenstats.htm

I wanted to write this so we are all reminded to take more precautions when it comes to our Facebooks, WordPress, Twitters, MySpace, Tumblr, Blogspot, StumbleUpon, Hotmail, Gmail, msn, ebuddy, linked etc etc, so on and so forth, you get the idea. There are some real creeps out there who take pride in watching your every move on your social networking profiles, who always wait for your next photo of your cleavage, legs or even feet and hands.

If you have anything to add please add it in the comment section below.

Be safe


Study hard or go home… Wait I am at home -_-

Sorry I’ve been absent guys, ran out of internet credit and I’ve been studying and working out (yes exercise.)
So just a quick update today.

I am also really sick again (why does this happen to me) so I am starting to wonder about my immune system, I wonder if it works properly because I am sick most the year now :l

If you read my last post you would have learnt I am studying to become a neuroscientist. So its pretty much what I’ve been doing, studying… Considering the uni I want to attend is in Melbourne I need to do 2 courses first, cert 3 in science and then a batch in science. Bleh who can fine the money? Hopefully I can :p so worth it in the long run.

So this week’s study subject is ‘the periodic table’ and everything about the elements

Did you know phosphorus was discovered in 1669?

I know right LOL!

So for now I will leave you with pictures of what I have been up too, and rest assured – those who have sent in emails I will reply to you all very soon.






I am losing weight and feeling a lot better about myself. I’ve got a meeting at a gym on Tuesday to set up member ship with them. :) I never realised how strong I was until I started to do sit ups, push ups and weight training. I am very proud of myself.

Sorry for the lack of photos really, I thought I had taken a lot more on my travels than I actually had.

Ill write again soon, in the mean time I am going to snuggle into bed with the vaporizer and study.


Coffee and travels

Wow, what a hectic couple of weeks it has been here in Ballarat. With everyone in a rush to buy last minute Christmas presents and then in even more of a rush to spend on boxing day. Sometimes I wonder how do you relax in this festive season.. it may be over already but it still feels like I must be rushing.


Let’s start from, Christmas shopping – this part was quite enjoyable. It’s one thing I love about Christmas – being able to give something to someone and bring joy to them. I did manage to lose one of the Christmas gifts I wrapped for my partners niece.. but we did indeed replace it and she loved it anyway.
It has been really sunny here in Ballarat, since I’ve been here I have managed to get sunburnt twice.

Jordan decided to take me out to dinner at one if my favorite restaurants in Ballarat ‘Da Vincis.’ Not one are the meals really good, the staff are lovely and the place looks amazing. Painted on the walls are Da Vinci pieces of work, not original paintings of course, unless he happen to rise for that particular occasion.

Jordan at Da Vincis
Jordan at Da Vincis
Me drinking Whiskey and Coke
Me drinking Whiskey and Coke
One of the paintings on the wall
One of the paintings on the wall

I was meaning to take pictures of our meal, but we were do busy talking about the female waitress who happen to he lurking around our table – she wasn’t our waitress for the night and we were the only customers down the front if the restaurant. We found it just a bit creepy.
Jordan and I had actually left 2 pillows we had bout under our table at this restaurant. Luckily we were able to get them back.

I will skip to Christmas, nothing else really happened during the time before, besides all the Christmas shopping.
Christmas eve was very hectic, I think we left a few things to the last minute. Jordan and I took a walk up the road to the Christmas light display they had put together, I understand that there are people in this town who get into it a lot and spend a lot of money to bring joy to all the children (and all the drunken, drugged up teens I saw marvelled at all the colourful lights and bubble machines.)
Our son Setesh was pretty amazed by the display aswell. Although he was really interested in this singing dear they had mounted on the wall.






We stayed up until around 2-3 am, helping Mum (my mother in law) with cleaning, while she cooked. Honestly we didn’t get much cleaning done, it was a very exhausting day and we spent most the time chatting while waiting for turkey and ham to cook. But we did a pretty good job for the time we made use of. The kids woke up in a really good mood Christmas morning, straight to their presents, wrapping paper flying everywhere. Something that bugs me about Christmas is spending so much on wrapping paper all for one day – what a money maker! Mum and I discussed using plain brown paper, I suggested buying a huge roll and spending time painting and stamping it to make it look Christmasy (is that even a word?)









Yes Jordan received coal from mittens partner for Christmas (his younger brother)


Mittens Blog

Once again, I forgot to take photos of all the wonderful food we had to eat, so you will just have to take my word for it. It was amazing!


But there was Christmas punch I took a photo of

Very sunny Christmas day :)
Was an extremely good day, I hope everyone loved the gifts they received from everyone on this day.

On boxing day, I was already for the boxing day sales.

Well sort of ha ha, after my morning coffee I was alright. The rest of the family set off to shepparton for Christmas at Aunty Chris’s house, sadly Jordan and I couldn’t join them this year as it was an early start for Jordan the next day and he cannot risk taking any time off (two people were fired for taking the day off recently.)

It was extremely busy down the shops on boxing day. Jordan and I combined all our Christmas money and gift cards together and purchased the new Nintendo Wii U


We bought the premium game pack they were selling, it came with a bunch of accessories and 2 games ‘Nintendoland’ and ‘Just Dance 4′ I also purchased the new ‘Assassins Creed 3′ on sale $30 off :)

The kids really enjoy ‘Just Dance 4′


Setesh will be 2 next year, I fear he will take over the world by then with his dancing ability and tantrums.


Jordan and I went out for dinner the other night, we went to a really nice Chinese restaurant called ‘Golden Crown’

We ate some Honey chicken, Lemon Duck, Fried rice and Singapore noodles. I really should keep my phone charged, this is the reason I didn’t take photos of the meal, Jordan took the photo if the outside of the restaurant for me.
Before we had decided to eat at this place for dinner we went for a walk to a new supplement/body building shop that has recently opened up in town, we had a chat and I purchased a tank top from them (it is also helping advertise the store.)

After we left this store we made our way to the restaurant, on the way I spotted this down an alley in ‘Bridge mall’

I thought it was an amazing collection of photos taken if Ballarat. So it is perfect to end this post with.


Stay tuned for my next post.

Overland to Ballarat landed me on Christmas eve

Yes, you aren’t going crazy – the title hardly makes any sense at all, but hey! It works!
It has been almost a week since a set off on my adventure – first stop Ballarat, Victoria.


Jordan flew over from Melbourne to help me look after the kids on the 11 hour train ride from Adelaide to Melbourne on ‘The Overland’ – I slept for the first 6 hours of the ride. All the food on the train you had to buy, even breakfast lunch and dinner – ugh but no eftpos, so if you didn’t have cash, I guess you were starving all day (this didn’t happen to me I had cash.)

There isn’t much to say about the train, I paid for upper class, so there was more room (i had a pram.)

All in all – train was a train and I saw way too many trees out the window.

This week I haven’t really done much as it is Christmas. So I will post soon summarizing the rest of my year.

I must leave a little footnote though

- world did not end, must throw it out there “I told you so” ;p

What if money didn’t matter?

Today mum showed me a video called ‘what if money didn’t matter.’ It is a short 3 min vid basically saying “forget money, do what you want or be unhappy for the rest of your life” in a nutshell.

I completely agree – which brings me to today.

Today is a very interesting day, there is still a few things I have to get done today, I am lucky to have gotten this far (insert ‘ive gone clinically insane’ laugh here.)

Tomorrow I will be boarding ‘The Overland’ train to Melbourne – with my little family. With that I will also be starting my slow journey around the world – Starting with Victoria.

The line that really makes you question everything you’re doing is “why work in a job you’re unhappy at, to earn money, to be able to continue working in a job you’re unhappy with” I believe this is spot on.
When you look at it from my point of view, you only have one life, why waste it being unhappy?

Why go to work everyday, come home, sit in front of the tv and hoard all that money you have accumulated? What just because ‘if you don’t have money you can’t do anything’

All you need is a backpack full of the basics, a pen and some paper. Then you’re set, you can travel anywhere you want.

“But how, with out money I can’t do anything?”

This is where we as people have forgotten that money is a man made currency, and no matter how rich you are, you are in debt and so is the country you live in or visit. You can trade things, sell stuff, busk, answer jobs in the local paper where you are staying – if you actually talk to people and are willing to try new things, you can travel anywhere you’d like, earn commodities and always find a place to stay. It’s an experience, it makes you uncomfortable thinking about it, but people do it for a reason – you only have one chance on this planet, make it count by living life with an open heart and an open mind. Forget the materialistic things, forget the money and just live!

Stay tuned for my very first travel post.

The thing you think you cannot do

Death is everywhere – from that little baby bird you saw on the sidewalk that time, you know the one being devoured by ants, right to the couple dozen ants, you just unknowingly squished with your shoe as you took the extra time to see if it was indeed a baby bird. Just as life is inevitable so is death. You can either seek him, wait for him and he can procrastinate… But you can never hide from him.

I started reading “The thing you think you cannot do – thirty truths about fear and courage” written by Gordon Livingston, M.D.


We are scared of death, and a out 85% of the American population deal with it by believing in the ‘afterlife’ – heaven or hell. Where you end up all depends on how scared you were to live your life to the fullest before hand… Or by how much guilt you feel for your sins. Statistics show religious believers ‘sin’ more than non religious believers – but there is a big difference here – guilt

If you take a step back and look at most religions in modern society, there foundation is built on guilt. If you feel guilt, you think of why and in turn you are ‘sinning’ for dwelling on your sins – personally I think someone needs to come along and re write the rule book here or just throw it out.

We spend far too much time worrying about silly things like sinning, money, materialistic things and how we appear to the public. We care if people shame us for being on welfare, or if we just scrape by with our boutique job. We care if our house is messy, so we clean it frantically before guests arrive and freak out when they show up unannounced. We subject ourselves to peer pressure in fear of losing friends, or to gain new friends.

We fear the bank if we borrow money, because they can take everything we bought with it away.

And we are scared of dying, I completely understand – fear of the unknown.

Many people live their life waiting around for the next, instead of living in the moment, living in the life they have right now.

This is why I want to travel, with my little family. I don’t want to be sitting at home saving money for unexpected bills, or for a fancy new car, I don’t care wether I have a computer of not or if I have all the latest games.

The best things in life are free – there is a reason they say this, and its true.

*Everlasting friends
*Raising a family
*Enjoying nature
*The sweet sent of flowers

The list goes on, sure it cost a stack of worthless plastic to visit another country, but I don’t care for money, as long as I have everything my family needs then I.am fine, what is important is the experience you have while you are there. The people you meet and the lessons you learn.

You can sit there and complain your poor, let it run your life because you are scared. Or you can spend that money sitting in your bank on an overseas ticket, and a passport, then have the time of your life living in the moment.

Your choice. I know which one I would choose.

Adelaide – my city.

I haven’t written about it yet, but I have decided I am going to travel with my little family. First I will start with Australia, then make my way overseas, I started comprising a list of places I would like to travel to, I haven’t finished that list yet. I plan on writing about every place I visit. Today I was going to travel into the city but the weather is too hot to take a newborn, so I’ve had to rely on google for images of my city – I take no credit for the pictures. Adelaide my city travel destination 1


Adelaide, here you can find peace in ‘rush hour’ – especially if you are from a big city like Sydney or Melbourne. It is almost always sunny here in Adelaide, even in winter you can see sunlight, it does not snow here.


In these pictures you can see the ‘Intercontinental hotel’ Torrens river A lot of other buildings And the Adelaide Festival theater


In primary school (grade school for Americans) I used to perform here with my school, I was in the choir, we performed here every year for a event called ‘The festival of music’


We would spend all year preparing for this one event. I remember the feeling of being on that stage in front of thousands of people, signing and it was amazing. Another even we spent all year preparing for, was a contemporary dance number for a competition called


I competed in this 2 years in a row. I miss performing. I hope my boys get to experience stuff like this when they get to school.

The Adelaide museum is one of my favorite places to visit. If you have a look through my first posts when I started this, you will find the one I wrote on the museum.



Adelaide is filled with ‘old’ buildings, most of them haven’t been upgraded to look ‘mainstream’ yet. That is one thing I absolutely love about Adelaide, you feel a little as if you have gone back in time when you come here. But when night time hits, you wonder what this city is hiding.


This is above our hungry jacks. It turns on at night time and plays various pictures, it lights up the night sky.

Our infamous ‘Hindley street’ is no stranger to light shows and secrets.

The night life here is amazing I hear – I haven’t had the time or real desire to experience it by myself, but I promise if I do I will write about it. Hindley street has mixture of clubs, pubs, restaurant and Gentlemens clubs.


Even the railway station will surprise you

ordinary during the day

Colourful casino and restaurants by night.

Let’s move onto shopping – Rundle mall, now you may know about this place from seeing the famous ‘Rundle mall balls’ somewhere, if not then these are the famous balls.

These balls have served us well in Adelaide, they serve as a national landmark, a tourist destination, a meeting place for friends, business partners, school trips and family. In some cases, sadly a place to remember loved ones that have moved on from this world. Many people hold memorials at these balls.

In 2011, a friend of mine had given up on fighting his battle with depression. He was bullied severely for his sexuality. Kahl Sims. Bullying should never get to the point that a young man, with so much potential takes his own life as a result.

We all light candles, I think about 50 or so of Kahls friends and family attended the memorial, many tears were shed that night.


Hope the afterlife is treating you much better buddy.


Shopping in rundle mall is an experience, with many local boutiques, cafes and underground salons, internet cafes and various shops.

The Myer center is a huge shopping center in the mall. It has many floors and many shops.

Now let’s move to some of the outer suburbs.

Mosley square glenelg. This is another place with many shops. You can jump on a tram from the city all the way to Glenelg.

The trams used to look like this

Now they have upgraded to this
Glenelg is also a beach. With docs and a theme park. It used to be a place called ‘Magic mountain’


Now it has been replaced with a place called ‘The beach house’



I’ve never been to the beachhouse but I have been shopping and swimming at glenelg many times

Now where I live. I live in a place called Hackham, it is about a15 minute drive from the beach,

That is an aireal view of my local beach ‘Port Noarlunga’
I used to live up the road from it, and I would swim from one end of the jerry to the end and walk back nearly every morning.
There are some wonderful restaurants here.

Shopping in my area is pretty good, but you do unfortunately have to deal with loitering teens who all have attitude problems.


For some reason, troubled teens group at shopping centers. Disturbing the peace… I think you get that everywhere.
I was here yesterday to purchase an outfit for a cocktail party I am invited to next week on Sunday.

Blue Is my theme :)

I think that shall be all for Adelaide today. There are so many more places I have to visit. I will be doing that soon, next top Ballarat, Victoria. For those who don’t know, I’ve lived here before so I know a few places I would like to write about already. Plus I will have my camera handy every day.

Rubys Notes – Chapter 1 part 1 edited

For those of you who are wondering, I posted my first draft copy, of my first chapter, of my first novel and for the first time. That is a lot of firsts. http://allworldissues.com/2012/12/05/rubys-notes-chapter-1-draft-thoughts/

I asked people for constructive criticism (yes good and bad) one thing you need to realize if you want to publish your work – you need to seek the criticism, and face the music – otherwise how are you going to improve and make it better?

Last night I spent a bit of time editing it (old school paper and pen style)

book edit pic

here is some of the edited copy – And for those who are wondering ALL my work IS in fact Copyrighted. So don’t be thieving ;)

Being a school teacher wasn’t all it had cracked up to be. Sure there were a few perks, seeing the smiles on those children’s faces every time I entered the room, just as easily they smiled when it was time to pack their bags and go home, teaching them all about how the world works… How much they actually listen to is a different story. My name is Ruby, Ruby Kensington but you can call me Miss K.

I’m not married, I don’t even have a boyfriend, I don’t have children of my own and I don’t have any friends. No I am not a weirdo or maybe I am. You can decide that for yourself. I’m going to tell you a story about how I ended up in the position I am in.

June 28th 8:40pm. 1993

It was the 90’s and I was fresh out of law school, already I had already received my first job offer. I was desperate, so I went for it not knowing quite what I was getting myself into. We had arranged to meet at 9am the next day to discuss what the job involves, the only problem was that I did not know who I was meeting or why. I had received the phone call out of the blue, and the person I had spoken to did not go into any detail about the job, they just gave me a time and the address of where I would be meeting my ‘potential employer.’ When you are a lawyer, you don’t think too much about those types of phone calls – although I would have preferred to pick the location myself.

That night I had a group date with my best friends Chloe and Sandra.

They had been my friends since we were in law school. Chloe had long blond hair with colors running through it, pinks, purples, blues and oranges. She was short, maybe 5’2 and she was very socially awkward. When Chloe was younger she really wanted to be a hairdresser, but her mum forced her into attending law school. Chloe didn’t want to upset her mother, so, she used her talents with hair as a side business as a way to make some extra cash. Now Sandra on the other hand was the complete opposite. Sandra was a girl of status in the law industry – as her dad was a lawyer. She was tall with luscious tanned legs that go for miles. Sandra had dark hair and dark eyes, with a European look to her plus she was really skinny and everything about her screamed sexy. Sandra always had all the guys pining over her like little puppies, even though she turned them all down.

As the night progressed I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched. You know the type of feeling you get when you think there is someone who just won’t stop staring at you? The hairs on the back of your neck stand up and cold shivers run down your spine, as if someone had ‘just walked over your grave’ as they say. That’s the feeling I had now, so I decided to call it a night with my friends and walk home.

As I was walking I started to feel dizzy, queasy even… did I really drink that much? A few minutes passed by and I couldn’t bring myself to walk any further. I hailed the first cab I saw and jumped in. My house was about a 10 minute walk away from our favorite hangout but I just couldn’t bear to walk any longer. The taxi drive made me feel worse. I wasn’t even sure if I was even in a taxi anymore and I just passed out.

Rubys notes chapter 1 draft – thoughts?

This is indeed the draft copy to chapter one… Needs lots of work – things to add aswell, I wrote this along time ago and thought it was about time to get some critique good and bad. Sorry about the awkward paragraphing, I did this on my phone.
P.s I am aware of the grammatical errors. This is just a rough draft and does need work.

June 28th 8:40pm. 1993

It was the 90’s and I was fresh out of law school and I had already got my first job offer. I was desperate so I went for it not knowing quite what I was getting myself into. We had planned to meet at 9am the next day to discuss what the job offers the only problem was that I did not know who I was meeting and why.

That night I had a group date with my best friends Sandra and Chloe. They had been my friends since we were in law school. Sandra was a girl of status in the law industry as her dad was a lawyer, she was tall, tanned, had dark hair and dark eyes.

Sandra was really skinny and everything about her screamed sexy. She got all the guys even though she turned them all down.

Now Chloe on the other hand was the complete opposite. Chloe had long blond hair with colors running through it, pinks, purples, blues and oranges. She was short, maybe 5’2 and she was very socially awkward.
See when Chloe was younger she really wanted to be a hairdresser but her mum forced her into attending law school. Chloe didn’t want to upset her mother so she used her talents with hair as a side business as a way to make some extra cash.

As the night progressed I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched. You know the type of feeling you get when you think there is someone who just won’t stop staring at you? The hairs on the back of your neck stand up and cold shivers run down your spine as if someone ‘had just walked over your grave’ as they say. That’s the feeling I had now, so I decided to call it a night with my friends and walk home.

As I was walking I started to feel dizzy, queasy even… did I really drink that much? A few minutes passed by and I couldn’t bring myself to walk any further. I hailed the first cab I saw and jumped in. My house was about a 10 minute walk away from our favorite hangout but I just couldn’t bear to walk any longer. The taxi drive made me feel worse. I wasn’t even sure if I was even in a taxi anymore and I just passed out.

June 29th 9:40am
Suddenly I woke up. I didn’t know where I was and my vision was as blurry as my memory was foggy.
My face was wet. I could tell it wasn’t sweat that had drenched my face and I soon discovered it was blood as I touched my forehead to find a deep wound gaping open inviting bacteria and disease into it.

“Where am I?” is all I could think as the pain from my wound radiated throughout my head.
I had a look around after my vision had come back to me. All I could see were photos of Sandra everywhere, Sandra in her car, Sandra in the court room and pretty much her whole life right in front of me.

Suddenly a swift not so delicate closed fist met with my face and believe me did it hurt. I didn’t see who was hitting me repeatedly. All I could hear was a recording in the background and it didn’t sound like anything I had ever heard before. It was a mixture between white noise and violence mixed with some classical and calming music – which didn’t make any sense given the situation that I had been put in.

“Where is she?” I heard in the background repeatedly, I recognised that voice but who was it? The voice got louder and louder and I started to get all my senses back and then I saw it.
I didn’t know exactly what it was; all I know is that it scared the hell out of me. This thing that had me locked in this room like a stalker turned murderous. By now I had my sense of smell back and the smell of this thing was not pretty at all. It smelt like I was lying in a cesspool filled with rotting carcases of animals and humans alike. I heard that voice again but this time it was screaming for its life.

I tried to stand up but this thing had me pinned to the ground with its tentacle’s. I felt my heart beating faster.

A person walked up to me “it’s alright let her go” a dark husky voice yelled and immediately I was let go. I stood up to take a better look around but before I could take a step I felt this burning sensation in my legs and I immediately dropped to the ground. I had fainted from the pain.

June 30th 3:07pm
This was the day that changed my life forever. It changed my identity and who I used to be.

I woke up in the hospital, nurses rushing around and kids running in and out of wards. Everyone kept calling me ruby. I didn’t remember my real name but only what had happened over the past couple days. I made note to not let anyone know what I had seen; even though I didn’t really know what I had seen.  When I woke up I was given a bag that was supposed to be mine containing my belongings… but I didn’t recognise any of them. 

The bag contained a birth certificate to a woman named Ruby Kensington, a fresh out of teacher college degree in a folder filled with resumes, a keychain with a key attached to a note, what looked like car keys and a purse with a photo ID with my picture and the name Ruby Kensington.

As soon as the nurse’s left me alone all I could think about was the note that was attached to the keys. Without hesitation I reached into the bag, just as a child would dig through its party bag full of treats, eager to locate the best piece of candy and eat it in one huge bite without hesitation. I quickly located what I was looking for, that note… the one that has been haunting my every thought for the past hour. ‘Should I really be so hesitant to read this note?’ I thought to myself.
All I knew was that I was apparently Ruby and that this note belongs to me. I procrastinated for a little, avoiding the inevitable by looking over my newly acquired qualifications and identity “Who are you Ruby?” I thought to myself while closely examining my license. “Do I even know how to drive?” I thought but quickly made the decision that I would know soon enough.

After closely examining all the belongings in my bag over and over again I decided it was time… The dreaded note, I sighed. Why was it so hard to just open this small piece of paper and read however many words are on it? I didn’t know.
Finally without a thought I just opened it, swiftly as is I was ripping a band aid off my arm, I closed my eyes for a minute just to take a breath and then I opened them again. I began to read. The note read ‘all the answers you seek are at the house.’ But what could that mean? What house? Frustrated I crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it across the room “Score!” I shouted as it had landed in the bin. Fed up with all the unanswered questions I decided to have a shower as I suddenly felt dirty.

I managed to get a nap in after my shower before I was woken up so abruptly by the nurse. “Ma’am is everything alright?” The nurse said to me. “Yes, sorry you just startled me” I quickly replied. For some reason the nurse looked very familiar to me, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Even the smell that consumed the room in her presence was familiar but then again I didn’t even know who I was so how could I know this stranger? She was just a nurse… right?
“Everything seems to be alright, you can go home now” The nurse said interrupting my train of thought. “Oh thank you” I replied, the nurse left the room and I collected my belonging and discharge papers.

After I was discharged I walked out into the parking lot to try and find this mysterious car that I had never seen in my life. But there was no car here. I looked around and there was a payphone and surely this purse I was carrying would contain some money to make a call.
I slowly walked up to the payphone as I was still a bit lethargic from being stuck in that hospital. The payphone from a far looked pretty clean but as I approached it I was learning my lesson. Nothing is ever what it seems… The smell of the payphone varied between dead animal and urine, it definitely was not pleasant and I did not picture my day to go like this.
“Why me?” is really all I could think right about now while coming to the realization that yes, there was a payphone here and yes I did have some change to make a call but I don’t know who to call or where to go. I was suddenly lost in my thoughts, I mean if anybody saw me right now they would probably think I was crazy, just standing here consumed by my own wandering mind but there was a sound in the back of my mind that just wouldn’t go away. Then it dawned on me and quickly I snapped out of it.

The sound in the back of my mind was actually the constant ring of this payphone “how long had I been standing there consumed in my thoughts and why is this phone ringing?” thinking to myself, I just stood there – staring at this phone and its constant ring “Why is it still ringing?” I thought, hesitant I decided to answer it.
“Hel…” I started to say by was quickly cut off “Go home Ruby.” The stranger said, the voice was so muffled I couldn’t tell if it was a man or woman who had just told me, well, Ruby to go home. “But I…” I proceeded to reply but by that time the person on the phone had already hung up.
I quickly moved away from the pay phone as I just could not stand the smell anymore it was horrid. I decided pacing the car park again would be the best idea for me right now; surely I look like a crazy woman now – answering random pay phone calls and constant pacing of this deserted car park. 
I am not sure how much time I had just wasted trying to figure out how I was going to make my way to my ‘so called home’ but man did it feel like forever. ‘Maybe this is what it feels like to be alone, who am I kidding, I am alone and in a car park and why am I in a car park… ugh maybe I should try and hitch hike… wait does that even work these days… shit what is the date?’ thoughts were racing through my head, one after another and by this point I was just confusing myself so I decided to just sit down and take a breath.

Just as I sat down and made myself comfortable a car pulled into the car park.  The car was black; the sun light reflected off it and stung my eyes. When the black car pulled up in front of me it my imagination run wild. I began to imagine I was secretly a spy in an action movie about to embark on a dangerous mission. The car door opened and I jumped in without thinking. The doors locked behind me and I snapped out of it.
Suddenly all I saw was the inside of a boring black car. “How could I have let my imagination get the better of my judgement?” I wondered. The car started to move and immediately I started to panic, “where are we going” I thought as flashes of memories began to cloud my vision, I couldn’t see the driver but they could obviously see me. A hand appeared out of a little slot in the tinted glass that was shadowing the driver. The hand held a paper bag and a note was stuck to it “again with the notes?” I thought to myself. I had decided to just go ahead and read it straight away, what did I have to lose? I was already in a strange car, received a strange phone call and had woken up in a strange hospital with a strangely familiar nurse. So what did I have to lose on another piece of paper?

‘Don’t panic you’re safe now’