Tag Archives: vacation

Rubys Notes – Chapter 1 part 1 edited


For those of you who are wondering, I posted my first draft copy, of my first chapter, of my first novel and for the first time. That is a lot of firsts. http://allworldissues.com/2012/12/05/rubys-notes-chapter-1-draft-thoughts/

I asked people for constructive criticism (yes good and bad) one thing you need to realize if you want to publish your work – you need to seek the criticism, and face the music – otherwise how are you going to improve and make it better?

Last night I spent a bit of time editing it (old school paper and pen style)

book edit pic

here is some of the edited copy – And for those who are wondering ALL my work IS in fact Copyrighted. So don’t be thieving ;)

Being a school teacher wasn’t all it had cracked up to be. Sure there were a few perks, seeing the smiles on those children’s faces every time I entered the room, just as easily they smiled when it was time to pack their bags and go home, teaching them all about how the world works… How much they actually listen to is a different story. My name is Ruby, Ruby Kensington but you can call me Miss K.

I’m not married, I don’t even have a boyfriend, I don’t have children of my own and I don’t have any friends. No I am not a weirdo or maybe I am. You can decide that for yourself. I’m going to tell you a story about how I ended up in the position I am in.

June 28th 8:40pm. 1993

It was the 90’s and I was fresh out of law school, already I had already received my first job offer. I was desperate, so I went for it not knowing quite what I was getting myself into. We had arranged to meet at 9am the next day to discuss what the job involves, the only problem was that I did not know who I was meeting or why. I had received the phone call out of the blue, and the person I had spoken to did not go into any detail about the job, they just gave me a time and the address of where I would be meeting my ‘potential employer.’ When you are a lawyer, you don’t think too much about those types of phone calls – although I would have preferred to pick the location myself.

That night I had a group date with my best friends Chloe and Sandra.

They had been my friends since we were in law school. Chloe had long blond hair with colors running through it, pinks, purples, blues and oranges. She was short, maybe 5’2 and she was very socially awkward. When Chloe was younger she really wanted to be a hairdresser, but her mum forced her into attending law school. Chloe didn’t want to upset her mother, so, she used her talents with hair as a side business as a way to make some extra cash. Now Sandra on the other hand was the complete opposite. Sandra was a girl of status in the law industry – as her dad was a lawyer. She was tall with luscious tanned legs that go for miles. Sandra had dark hair and dark eyes, with a European look to her plus she was really skinny and everything about her screamed sexy. Sandra always had all the guys pining over her like little puppies, even though she turned them all down.

As the night progressed I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched. You know the type of feeling you get when you think there is someone who just won’t stop staring at you? The hairs on the back of your neck stand up and cold shivers run down your spine, as if someone had ‘just walked over your grave’ as they say. That’s the feeling I had now, so I decided to call it a night with my friends and walk home.

As I was walking I started to feel dizzy, queasy even… did I really drink that much? A few minutes passed by and I couldn’t bring myself to walk any further. I hailed the first cab I saw and jumped in. My house was about a 10 minute walk away from our favorite hangout but I just couldn’t bear to walk any longer. The taxi drive made me feel worse. I wasn’t even sure if I was even in a taxi anymore and I just passed out.

My big adventure day 6: thank god for friends


I usually always find the answers I’m looking for in music, but today nothing…

I wish I could just stop time for just a few minutes, just to have some time to myself to think, to be able to clear up all my thoughts and sort out all my feelings. But no matter how hard I wish, that is one thing that is impossible and maybe I should just wait until my son goes to bed tonight to revisit the situation with my brain. But I can’t do that because miss brain is an impatient chatter box and wants to talk about it right now, and all the time…

Over the past week I have been speaking to a good friend about my problems, and although I am boring him by going over the same things over and over again, he’s given me a lot of good advice that never falls far from the tree of my feelings… But still I lack the confidence to reach for those stray apples of advice, pick them up and bite into them like eve and the forbidden fruit. Thirsty for knowledge, and all the answers, I am scared of the answers and the solutions, I have herd them over and over again, yet I am still very reluctant to face those fears.

Maybe a pros and cons list would help?
All I can say right now is thank god for friends

image

My big adventure day 3 Part 1: Music to my ears


The Script – Hall of Fame ft. will.i.am

There is always a few songs, that will come and go in your life, that leave you feeling amazing inside. This particular song is one of those, if you are reading this and you take the time to click on the link and listen, or you have already herd the song, then you know exactally what I mean.

Toda I awoke at 4 am… last night I had a sort of a ‘tiff’ with ‘J’ as usuall… we never can sort out our differences. Anyway a while ago when we had a ‘break’ I said to him “you need to learn to live with yourself before you can learn to live with us” and last night I mentioned how I said it a while back… He got angry with me, because i have this habit of saying something, that wont make sense to most people because i dont bother to explain what i mean. So after him being angry and claimng ‘I act like i know the secrets of the world’ I actually explained myself.

And i said “Jordan for a while now you have been lost, going around in circles because you dont know what you want to do with yourself… figure that out… what does jordan want to DO with his life. not what does jordan want IN his life… think about it”

I feel that this particular song is perfect for this situation. Because as it explains in the song… you can be anything in the world that you desire, and dont let silly things stop you.

I would say, especially not money. You do not need money to make something of yourself, because money just buys you things not happieness… Money just puts food on the table, and buys the fancy table for the food, it does not in any way hape or form fill that part of you that is reserved for just you and your dreams… unless your dream is to have all the moneys… then your on the right track he he.

On another note. Today is my 3D ultrasound. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and ready to pop i would say ha ha ha. Now if you have never seen a 3D ultrasound here is a picture from my son Setesh’s ultrasound

As you can clearly see there is his foot, arm and his little nose there. So I will write my Part 2 post later after the ultrasound and show you all some pictures. Until then Have an amazing day.

My big adventure Day 1: Enjoy the little things in life


Day 1 – Enjoy the little things in life

So this morning I woke up and decided that for my holiday I will take a photo or series of photos a day and write about them and I will try to be as positive as possible.

This morning my son and I decided to take a walk in the garden. We didn’t get very far because we were stopped by this purple flower. Sorry I do not recall the name of it, but I ask you to pay attention to the detail of this particular flower. Notice all the lines, the different shades of colour and the smaller petals compared to the big.

Life is a bit like this flower.

It is small to some and big to others.

Some people in it seek perfection and others are rough around the edges.

Some people are strong and mighty, they can withstand strong winds.

Some people are fragile and one touch will send them crumbling.

Life has fine lines and wrinkles.

It is full of colour and joy.

But it is also filled with sadness and sorrow.

This flower is a very simple thing in life, and it won’t be around forever so it is important for us to enjoy it while it last’s

Like life, we aren’t going to be here forever, no matter how many anti-aging remedies they come out with. So we should enjoy every day as it comes, we should always tell the people that we love how we feel about them and we should always be true to ourselves.

It is also important not to let someone stop you from fulfilling your dreams, or going on that holiday you have always wanted to go on. Sure you may not have enough money, but who is to judge what enough money is when it comes to fun? You really don’t need money to have fun, you might need it for a passport and plane ticket but once you reach your destination, I think you can find so many things that don’t involve money to keep yourself occupied.

The best things in life are free.

Love

Happiness

Family

Friends

Just experiencing the world is free,  forget the drama and just live.

 

Share with me your favorite thing in life and why it is your favorite thing.

Brit xx

I’m not ok, but that is ok


What do you write when you can’t stand the sight of your keyboard?

What do you say when you feel words are worth absolutely nothing at all anymore?

What do you do when you have cried a million tears and they just keep coming no matter how hard you try to be strong, and how hard you try to stop, to be strong for your child, so they don’t see that their mummy is hurting?

What do you say when someone asks you are you ok?

Usually I would hold it in, I wouldn’t tell anyone and I would cry in private. But now look at these tears, I am hurting and I know you are too. These tears are here to show you that you are not alone, that it is ok to cry. No matter how puffy and red your face becomes, it is ok.

So what, you are having fun with mates and you feel like crying, just cry… it’s the only way besides actually saying ‘I am not ok’ to show someone that you need some support, that you need to cry and that you just need someone to be there for you even if it’s just to listen to how your feeling.

I haven’t written a post in a while, because I am not ok, and I cannot find the right thing to write about. A lot of things I could write about seem pointless to me at the moment, so they can just sit there in my drafts waiting to be finished.

So I thought I would write something that seems like a good message to me, that it is ok to not be ok.

It is ok to need help and it is ok to admit you are depressed.

If I don’t post anything for a while then it is because of this. I am sad… and being sad just brings negativity to my blog. So I am avoiding it, I am avoiding my precious blog that started from a post about the negativity of facebook, to quitting facebook, then some motivational books. I have written some amazing posts and some just down right terrible posts.

Above all of it, I am not quitting but I am just going on a holiday.

So farewell for now, I will be sure to take photos of my holiday. It will be my wonder full comeback post, my massive holiday to real life traveling from blog world.

Brit xx

How to find what to write and when to write it: What is your inspiration?


One question I am faced with every single day is ‘Well what do I write today?’

When I get nominated for an award, it makes it easy to write something to post, but when I don’t; I actually have to use my head. I don’t get out much, I am trying to save money (I mean really trying) I go out maybe once a week, twice if I am lucky and need milk in the middle of the week, damn my fiancé has more interaction with the outside world than I do right now.

Sometimes I wish I had the confidence to just call and friend and ask ‘Hey want to hang out?’ But really who wants to hang out with a 33 week pregnant woman and their 15 month old son?

Yeah no it not going happen anytime soon except maybe with my friend ‘C’ (I don’t want to use her real name for privacy reasons so I will refer to her as C.)

C is probably the only friend I have that I see and hang out with, I don’t know if this is because my fiancé doesn’t like any of my other friends or because she is one of my few friends that is actually a mother and not interested in getting drunk and clubbing at the time…

Yeah I don’t go out at all anymore *pout*

So I spend most of my time in front of a computer screen, tablet screen, playing with my son, reading books or in the kitchen cooking, and yet I still hardly have anything to write about… except complaining about having nothing to write. I still write my novel, that’s going well… I guess.

I really do think that a lot of people around me think I am not capable of writing a novel… or any kind for that matter, no I am not referring to my family, of course they believe I can. I am also sure that at least half my readers think I can, but I also know there are probably a few people who read my posts every time and laugh at how I am just. Going. To. Fail!

I mean I don’t use big words to describe my thoughts and feelings… for example I would simplify my work by saying ‘The smell of the drink was really strong to her’ instead of ‘The smell of the drink was very potent’ and so on. And I don’t use a lot of punctuation or (inserted things like this) and something that goes like this; but I do use my grammar… when it is needed, maybe not on facebook but definitely on here, except when I am using my tablet, then you can kiss any chance of my writing actually considered writing at all. See post here: http://allworldissues.com/2012/09/23/hey-samsung-heres-a-tablet-i-would-like-you-to-swallow/

What I am really getting at here is, if I don’t go out much, and I don’t watch TV much , then sooner or later I will run out of things to complain about and actually have to put my foot down and go out and do something… right? Or am I doomed to a life of sitting at home playing ‘happy little stay at home house wife with no friends but her children’ for the rest of my life? I am starting to think my friends are sick of me purely because I am never around for them to get sick of me that way.

Today when I was thinking of something to write I thought ‘Hey the Emmys looked decent, maybe I could do that best dressed post’ EHHH… Nope everyone had already covered that, so then I thought ‘Maybe I could write about the weather, or my pets, or my family’ Yeah no too boring, readers left with an empty hole to fill… In their head because I had just filled it with boredom, so then the magical idea came to my head ‘Hey I will just complain about complaining and having no life and nothing to write about’ that is surely something to write about.

So with nothing really more to say on the subject… I guess I am going to make a cup of tea, sit down in front on the computer for another hour while my son naps, and read some cool and interesting posts from people.

Oh and another thing, head over to this blog http://mittenskittens.wordpress.com and read her amazing Duck story, it will surely give you the satisfaction my post couldn’t give you today and if you sign the petition you can help the ducks.

 

Step by step and word by word.


I have been a little absent lately, absent of here and somewhat of mind. I thought I would just give you a run down of the recent events. I have completed chapter 1 and almost chapter 2 of my novel, I have outlined (so I don’t forget) the key points for chapter 3 and 4 maybe 5. I just had my phone reconnected and now it is off to repairs because it fell out of my pocket and the screen shattered ($300 to fix.) I have pretty much been down in the dumps with bad luck for 5 years now 2 to go and my 7 years will be over, I am just wondering when did I break a mirror? around about 5 years ago… maybe there is some truth to this superstition stuff.

Now onto my writing. So I am considering tapping into my Uni’s resources to change to a different Major. So even though I am currently doing business management as I think about it I will never have enough money to start my own business unless I publish my novel and strike it big, but this is where the self-doubt comes back again and now even more than before I am paranoid. Not paranoid about my writing so much, but paranoid about my safety and well-being…

Going back to this post http://allworldissues.com/2012/07/17/life-was-never-meant-to-be-easy/ I wrote about a falling out I had with a friend. Upon visiting the hospital for my appointment to book my c-section in, my partner and I bumped into one of the girls I wasnt friends with anymore… She and her partner literally leaped at the opportunity to share the fact that they had pretty much been stalking my partner and I and knew EVERYTHING we have done and everything that had happened to us in the past 9-10 months… stuff that we had not shared with people and stuff that just didn’t happen at all… Not to mention they proceeded to make my partner feel horrible and embarrassed in the middle of the hospital and use foul and inappropriate language in front of young children AND their parents.

So now I am stuck. I feel I cannot write on here anymore and I feel I cannot even have a sit down with a friend for a cup of coffee purely because I do not know who has been telling these people everything about my life and why they are so obsessed with me and making my life miserable.

Yes I know I am mentioning it on here, but that is because I have a readership to please and despite my paranoia I must type on and well ‘ignore the haters’ as they say. I will continue to write!

So there is my reason for being away for a while, now onto some happier things. My book, oh wow is this a happy subject, I am so proud to say that I have been writing and writing and since I am determined to get my book published it has given me the motivation to keep writing. But one thing I have realised is I have forgotten a lot of skills that could be considered ‘essential’ to writing a book and will now need to seek further education, which I am excited about as there are some paths I can take for this, and there are a few academy’s where I live that specialise in the subjects I that I can attend or do online. That is exciting!

With saying all that I hope you all have a wonderful day or night where ever you reside and farewell until next time

My crusade to help the youth.


If your like me then growing up you found it hard to fit in at school. People spread rumours about you and eventually you lived up the reputation they gave you.

That is problem one with bullying – for example; you get called a freak all the time and eventually you start to believe it. then you start to change the way you dress to fit the name you have been given and then you start to ‘act’ like what you think is a freak because you believe you must be. soon you get an Internet fan base and you are now popular and start to bully people back for bullying you because now you have the control and the friends.

That is one example of how bullying can effect someone. Here is another example of the effects of bullying.

When a girl has a lot of guy friends behind her back all her ‘friends’ are calling her names assuming that she is obviously sleeping with all her guys friends. Eventually her ‘friends’ decide it is a good idea to spread around that she is… To the whole school. The boys that are involved with the rumours don’t denie any of the allegation in fear or not looking or being ‘cool’ to his mates. This girl is now being called names and all her previous friends hate her and continue to laugh and taunt. They spread more rumours. Because to them it is funny and they have the power in the situation.

This girl becomes depressed and usually goes either 3 ways
1) downward spiral turns to drugs and alcohol and lives up to this reputation
2) attempts to and sometimes succeeds to commit suicide
3) she ignores it and rises above it all

No matter what option this girl chooses though she now has this reputation behind her that others have created for her. So no matter where she goes or how old she is, she cannot avoid the talk. about 4-5 out of 10 times the people bullied choose option 1 and eventually lives up to the reputation they have been given, because it is easier for them to deal with if they make it true and it can be an easy escape from reality.

I can honestly say once upon a time I was the girl who chose option one. It had eventually reached the point where I gave up the fight to keep my reputation clean because other girls had already tarnished it beyond return. Eventually I did also discover drugs, but before that I would just go to party’s with the friends I had left. They were people who still liked to spread rumours about me so they weren’t really friends just people to hang around with. no matter what I did the rumours kept popping up.

It had gotten to the point where I felt like nothing I did was worth anything at all because I had already been ‘branded’ by lies that were far more important than the truth… The truth can be boring to these people.

Ok lets take a pause here and get something straight. I am not writing this so that you all know I was very unpopular at school, I am writing this because maybe there are some youths out there who need to read the effects bullying can have on someone. Some people just need to be bought back to reality and realize that bullying people in any shape, way or form is never ok.

I am sure at the time it will make you feel powerful and superior. You feel amazing when you’re in power and sometimes you can get ahead of yourself.

So basically my post today is another one of these awareness posts, because I have been bullied, I have dealt with the effects of it for years and I still am, to this day dealing with it.

I hope the people who bullied me are reading this now and realize they aren’t cool for bullying me. There are people out there who to this day think that I deserved everything I got and I had it coming to me. How can you have something coming to you if you never did anything wrong in the first place?

I do not see how a 14-year-old who had no friends anymore, who’s grades were slipping, who just went to school and went to work, who watched everyone else go to friends houses and underage rages deserved to have a metal ruler thrown at the back of her head in class, or deserved to be chased around the school by more than 100 people throwing rotten food and things they had found in the trash, or to be hit in the back of the head over and over again because a girl just felt like doing that every time she saw me. Nobody deserves that ever.

You see all these campaigns about bullying but do they really teach kids that bullying is wrong? Do teachers even care enough about it? Or parents for that matter? When I was in school that is what happened to me and not once did a teacher stand up and say ‘hey that’s wrong.’ They just ignored it or sent me out of class. I never once saw an anti bullying dvd either. To this day I still get called names and I still sometimes receive abuse from those I went to school with and people who are adults and should know better than that. I see bullying all over facebook older women fighting with each other, kids attacking other kids, adults attacking children, facebook groups aimed at bullying individuals, people with a disability being bullied and being the bully themselves, mothers of disabled children bullying people because they are not paying attention to their disabled child and people bullying the government for making a mistake or demanding they deserve more money… the list really does go on. Ever since the internet arrived it has just become an easier way to bully someone and get away with it.

I have many readers and every day I am reaching more and more people. I would really like your help on this, I would like the spread some awareness against bullying the most powerful way I know how – the internet and written word. I would really love to be able to start my own world wide campagne against bullying and actually visit schools and try to make a difference. But where can I start? Well I can start here on my blog.

If you are reading this I would like you to help spread this around, because it really does have to improve. Please write a post about your experience with bullying, how it effected you and the person you are now because of it. Link it back to mine so that I can read it and the readers of yours can also hear my story and my crusade and hopefully write a post aswell.

I am determined to get my message out there and hopefully help younger people avoid being in the situation I was.

Thank you

Is dissatisfaction the new satisfaction?


My partner and I were having a conversation about a few things and I thought ‘hey this would make a great post.’

It started off with the subject of learning. ‘Learning starts with you’ Jordan said, he was right, learning really does start with you. Otto von Bismarck wrote ‘A fool learns from his mistakes, but a truly wise man learns from the mistakes of others.’  I don’t believe that to be true because sometimes you can see someone make a mistake and learn not to repeat it but have you really learn anything from it? Maybe not to do that thing, but did you receive the same life lesson as the person who originally made the mistake? No, because you didn’t go through the same emotions or face the same consequences as that person. so learning starts with you, you learn from your actions and your mistakes not from those around you. that is why it is so important for my partner and i as parents to try to bring up our children without keeping them from making their own mistakes and life choices.

so that brings me to the second part of the conversations.

‘People confine themselves to a boring comfortable life’ Jordan says. sometimes this is true. people are too comfortable with not doing anything eg: staying at home ‘saving money’ when really they have no money saved at all and they are just scared to go out and experience the world – like going over seas. claiming they have no desire to but really they are just afraid of change and adventure. When people get too comfortable with their life, that’s when things start to go wrong for them, or seem to go wrong – I say seem because really it isn’t as bad as they make it out to be, it’s just they are not satisfied with the way their life is at the moment so they create something big out of something small or they are just an attention seeker and it is classic attention seeking behavior.

‘Don’t have high expectations because they paint an unrealistic picture’ This came after a discussion about some of the experiences my partner had while he was in Europe.

So for example: when a young boy is growing up and he hits puberty chances are he will discover porn or already has. (Insert random statistic here: Average age boys first view porn is 11.) Some boys will grow up with the expectation that when they get a girlfriend, the girl is basically going to be his sex slave… He then might also think that women just cook and clean all day, lunch is packed for work ready on the bench and dinner in ready on the table as soon as he comes home from work – All he has to do is sit down and watch his footy or go see his mates when ever he pleases. Why? because that is what ‘house wives’ on TV or that is what his mum is like. So he gets a girlfriend, they become sexually active as their relationship progresses and then they move in together. Things start to change and his expectations aren’t being met.

She wants him to do some dishes or clean the toilet and maybe she doesn’t want to partake in regular bedtime activities as often as they used too. He starts to get frustrated and eventually they break up because he is dissatisfied with the relationship and he it feeling a bit ‘overworked and underpaid’ to say the least.

Now keep in mind that this was just an example and not all men are like that but there are some and I apologize if I offended any men.

You should always try to be happy with what you have and you should try not to have such high expectations.

Try not to obsess over things that you don’t have or want to achieve. Here are 2 examples

- A spoiled child -

When a child wants a toy, that child will become obsessed with that toy and doing everything in his/her power to get that toy. Once the child gets the toy the feeling of satisfaction one last a short time before the child is dissatisfied with his/her new toy and wants a different one. The cycle continues, this child ends up receiving all the toys he wants but in the end is never happy with them.

- A Serial Killer -

Serial killers are the same in a way, except instead of getting the rush and satisfaction from a new toy they get it from murdering others.

They start off obsessing over someone they ‘hate’ (sometimes even like to the point they are stalking them but I am using the hate one for this example) everything the person they hate does begins to annoy them to the point they are seething with anger. Until one day they get so angry they snap and kills them. They panic but have so much satisfaction. As they panic they figure out a way to dispose of the body and they get away with it (this time.) Soon the satisfaction runs out and they remember how good they felt, how easy it was and how they got away with it. So they decide to do it again and a serial killer is born. They keep killing people, seeking that high and that satisfaction until they eventually slip up and get caught.

Now I know this post is not like my usual posts. I could say it is definitely for a more mature and not so easily offended audience who understands that although I just made a comparison between a spoiled child and a serial killer, I am in no way saying they are in the same category of metal state at all.

Children are children and serial killers are… Well they need some serious help.

In saying that I will move onto dreams.

People are often scared to follow their dreams, because they think that they will fail or they have high expectations, or more so unrealistic expectations, for their life and they are unsatisfied unless those expectations are met. Sometimes even if they are they are still unsatisfied and unhappy.

So basically my life lessons for you today are.

* Learning starts with you

* Don’t be afraid to plan a big adventure and follow through with it – you have nothing to lose

* Don’t obsess over something to the point that if you achieve it you are dissatisfied with it

* You should always try to be happy with where you are in life because having high expectations can leave you feeling frustrated

* Men – Women don’t do absolutely everything and we do like a break sometimes.

And just be happy

I am actually really happy right now writing this. I wrote it on paper first (good old paper and pen) it is the first time in about 3-4 years that i have drafted a piece of writing down on paper before editing it and posting it online. I recommend you all do this for you next post.

And with that I bid you farewell for now. I hope you have enjoyed my probably pointless and did not make sense post.

Thank you.